42: Emma and Joseph | 132 Problems: Revisiting Mormon Polygamy - 132 Problems: Revisiting Mormon Polygamy

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Who was Emma Smith? What do we really know about her, and her relationship with God and her prophet husband? What can the lives, character, and interactions of Emma and Joseph teach us about their relationship, and polygamy?
This one is long, but extremely important.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to 132 Problems Revisiting Mormon Polygamy, where we explore the scriptural and theological case for plural marriage. A special welcome to anybody who is new. I always recommend listening to these episodes from the beginning so you can understand the progression that we have made. My name is Michelle Stone, and this is episode 42, which will be the first of a series on Emma Smith. Today, we will look at the special relationship between Emma and Joseph. Thank you for joining us as we take a deep dive into the murky waters of Mormon polygamy. We’ve covered quite a few difficult and painful, hard to deal with topics in this series. So I wanted to spend some time also dealing with stories of faith and encouragement and talking about some of our heroes. And for me, Emma Smith is one of those heroes. Now, to get into this journey, I have to do a little bit of set up. Um, I started out this series truly sort of, I would say an agnostic about Joseph’s polygamy. I had done my best to explore in um honestly and in depth both sides, both claims, and my feeling really was that there is some very difficult, damning evidence that I can’t ignore. And um at the same time, there was so much exaggeration and overstatement that I just decided to not focus on that because to me the important question was, and still is, the primary question is what has God established and what does God ordain and command, regardless of what Joseph Smith did or did not do. However, at this point, as I have delved more deeply into these things and sought answers, and also been given new insights and additional information. The dial has shifted for me to where I really am now leaning far more into the camp of believing the words of Joseph Smith and his wife Emma, to believe that he was innocent of polygamy. I know that that is quite a claim that will, um, you know, make, make me. Um, will bring out detractors and and enemies and people will want to write me off. However, I would challenge those to really get in and do the same investigation that I have done and that many others have done, and to see how really weak the case of Joseph’s polygamy is. So, I needed to set that up as a um as a beginning. I, I will also say I’ve engaged with a few people and whenever I get that sort of the science is settled, um, arrogance and like I had one guy that we were having an online conversation. He’s a rather well known podcaster, and he, um, you know, he finally just started being so condescending with, I suggest you get some education. Do you know I have a master’s degree and and it was like, oh wow, as soon as you start going there, I see that your argument is not very strong. I’ve experienced that with defenders of polygamy as well. We can all look at the information and discuss the information, and if we can’t do that, then you actually lose credibility, right? And so, so I’m kind of in the same place where I’ve been the same thing I did with polygamy where I said, bring me your very best evidence and let me look at it and discuss it and dig in. I’ve really been trying to do that with Joseph Smith Smith’s polygamy as well. And so far, I am not having, I’m not being convinced,

[00:03:43] right? The more I look into things, the more I see, wow, this is weak. So, I’m setting that up because this episode, preparing for it actually was a confirmation to me of where I’ve been leaning. So I’m going to go ahead and present this information in the way that I see it. And, um, uh, and then the, the discussion can continue, right? I think that the important thing is to be willing to talk about these and anytime we say the science. Settled and shut down investigation and conversation and exploration, we do not get closer to the truth. So I’m gonna, with that, with that, um, groundwork stated, I am going to do my best to tell the story of Emma Smith and Joseph Smith and their relationship. It’s tricky because there’s so much information. I Couldn’t include everything. I did my best to include the information that we got as directly from them as possible. And so, um, so here it is for what it is. And I would love to have additions and feedback and comments of anything that you think, you know, we might need to do a second part on just Emma and Joseph. We are going to do. Future parts on Emma and, um, the other people that were involved in this. Emma and Brigham, Emma and Eliza, Emma and Lucy, that that’s my plan and my hope to be able to do those. So, first of all, we are just going to start looking at who Emma was and at what we know of her relationship with Joseph from Their letters from their interactions, from the things they wrote and said, and I’m not going to get into the things that were said about them decades later by other people who often didn’t even know them. And you know, we do know a lot of stories were made up that we can now substantiate as false. So that’s what we’re going to start with. I, I’ve always heard the saying, Behind every great man is a great woman, and I I want to reframe that, you know, in what I think is more true to say, beside every great man is a great woman, and I absolutely know that to be the case with Joseph and Emma Smith. So, Emma was raised in a relatively affluent and loving family where from all sources, she had good relationships with her siblings and her parents and was universally well thought of by everyone who knew her. That continued throughout her life. Emma was a good person and people thought highly of her and loved her. Um, her mother was a hardworking and skilled cook, homemaker, and herbalist, which I love. I love that she really was a, a knowledgeable and experienced natural healer, and, um, she, she was also very generous. They always opened their home and fed many, many people. Her father was a well known, renowned hunter who was also very generous. People who were hungry. We would often just have meat on their doorstep, and it was kind of well known that it was that it was Isaac Hale that was bringing it to them. I get the impression that Isaac was a stern man.

[00:06:39] He had very little use for religion, and he apparently didn’t allow prayer in his home. And he tells the story that one day he was out in the woods and he came upon seven year old Emma. Kneeling and praying aloud for her father, she was praying that his heart would be softened and that his soul could be saved, and that really did have an effect on him. And it’s my understanding that from then on he softened a bit and allowed prayer in the home. He had been a strict deist where he believed that God existed, but that he was not involved in the affairs of men. And after this experience, he began to allow prayer, but he still was never very. Um, sympathetic toward religion, definitely not given to a spiritual mindset. And so, um, Emma, however, was very different from her father. She from her earliest youth was, was a girl that was filled with the spirit. She loved the Bible. She loved to sing the hymns that it said that she had just a beautiful singing voice. And, um, she often manifest. the spiritual gifts as as she grew into a woman, she was described as intelligent, kind, attractive. She had a great sometimes biting sense of humor. I really like her and um she was tall with a nice figure and dark hair and eyes. She was described as quite striking. And so I have yet to find any negative reports of her. It seems that she was well thought of and loved by pretty much everyone who knew her until. You know, the the inexplicable act of connecting herself to Joseph Smith, which people who were so prejudiced against him could never understand. So, um, Emma, um, when Emma and Joseph met when Joseph came to do, um, as he was a hired hand for a neighbor and um who was wanting him to help dig for treasure and and and, you know, there’s a lot of that that’s a well known story, but apparently Joseph was trying to talk him out of it, but they really needed the money, so his father talked him into it and they They agreed to go and do this, and um Joseph’s reputation for both good and bad as a visionary man preceded him, a visionary young man, and Isaac was definitely not impressed, but Emma apparently was, and she and Joseph grew to love one another. And so after two failed attempts, Joseph tried twice to get Isaac’s permission and You know, I, well, Isaac had other children who had married poor, poor men, so it wasn’t necessarily a socioeconomic thing. I think it was more the visionary, the, the problem of Joseph’s visionary gifts that Isaac had a problem with. So Joseph tried twice to get his permission and failed. So finally he and Emma eloped and um they had some neighbor support and approval, and they were helped to be able to do that. Now, um, I want to point out this is surprising to some people. Joseph at the time was 21 and Emma was 22. She was actually older than Joseph, so we can’t have the mistaken idea that she somehow was, um, you know,

[00:09:47] susceptible to his influence and that he had so much power over her. They were true equals from the very beginning, even to the fact that she was older than he was. As evidence of her independence of thought and action while they were courting, he had been arrested. It might have been his first arrest, maybe not, but it was the first one that she was involved with in any case or aware of, and it didn’t put her off, you know, that would be a hard thing to experience and. Certainly didn’t help her case with her parents. I haven’t been able to find what her mother Elizabeth thought of the match. I’ve only been able to see that Isaac was opposed to it. So if anyone has any information about what Elizabeth may have thought or how she influenced her daughter, I’d be interested to know it seems like Isaac was sort of the strong force in that relationship. But, um, it, it didn’t put her off. She saw it for what it was, in her opinion, persecution, and she was still very, very willing to marry Joseph. So right from the beginning, she sacrificed her comfortable life with her rather well off family, and she was willing to risk their deep disapproval and severed. Ties with them, if necessary, to Mary Joseph, and she moved in with Lucy, her mother-in-law, which is hard in any circumstance, right? But they had far less wealth, far, far less comfort. She moved into that crowded home with her husband. She didn’t even dare write to her father and ask for her clothes and her possessions until several months later. So she was willing from the very beginning to sacrifice for her love for and her belief in Joseph Smith and what he said. So, um she also when she married him, she stepped into his world of Persecution and bad reputation and his world world of spiritual progression, but it was accompanied with all of these things, and she willingly from the very beginning, knowing what that meant, at least to some extent, took that on. So this is something that I hadn’t known before. Joseph had been told by Moroni in his yearly um mentoring sessions that he had with Angel Morona. He had been told that he needed to come back and get the plates, but he could only get them if he brought the right person with him. And if he didn’t bring the right person with him, he would lose the opportunity forever, and he would basically lose his calling that he was supposed to do. So Joseph put a lot of thought of prayer and prayer into this. The Lord Moon I told him he had to learn who it was the right person. He had believed it was Alvin, his oldest, his oldest brother, who passed away, and then he didn’t know. And when he met Emma, he was given the answer that it was Emma that he needed to bring with him. And so even from the very beginning, not only did Joseph cho cho uh did Emma choose Joseph, but God chose Emma. Emma was the one person that Joseph was told he needed by his side in order to even begin his work that the Lord had for him to do in order to even get the plates. So Emma went with him that night in that. I can’t imagine how scary and exhilarating that experience must have been when they went to get the plates and bring them home. She was by his side from day one, from the very beginning, and not only because he wanted her there and she wanted to be there, but because God required that they do this as a couple, as a unit. I think that’s profound.

[00:13:18] Things were difficult from the beginning for Emma and Joseph as soon as they got the plates. Things got even more trying and wild. There were physical attacks, threats, home invasions. Emma did everything in her power to help protect and conceal the plates, even as she was dealing with her first of many very difficult pregnancies. Emma did not have easy pregnancies, which gets at my heartstrings cause I don’t have easy pregnancies. So that’s a big part of the story for me to see what this woman did and what she endured. So I can’t even imagine the Lack and sickness, the poverty, the incredible strength, courage, sacrifice, and faith that she, along with he exerted to keep the plate safe. So after many home invasions and threats and physical attacks, the young couple moved back to again be near her family to try to be able to work more on the translation. She, Emma serving as his scribe in addition to being sick and pregnant and all of the other work she needed to do. So that proved to be difficult the second time near her family and ended up severing ties for good. When she left this this next time, she would actually never see either of her parents again. This was actually an impossibly awful tragic time in Emma and Joseph’s young life. She had been Joseph’s scribe and had written most, from what I understand, she was the main scribe in the beginning, um, translation of the Book of Mormon, sitting for hours while pregnant with her first child and enduring abuse from her family and community. Her uncle was the preacher and started. Just, you know, publicly lambasting Joseph and build up a lot of furor against them. It was a very, very difficult time for them. And then we all know the Martin Harris story, right? Martin Harris showed up and started to help with the work of translation so that Emma didn’t have to do it all on her own. And then Martin begged to be able to take the manuscript pages, right? Right after he had taken them, Emma gave birth to her first baby, and, um, her baby did not live, and the labor was extremely long and difficult. I, my guess from my experience is the baby likely had a genetic disorder, maybe Trisomy 13 or trisomy 18, which are some of the most common, um, genetic disorders that take babies’ lives in that way. And so I’m sure from both the physical toll of um of pregnancy and childbirth and then the emotional suffering, Emma was literally on her deathbed for two weeks. She was extremely sick, hovering between life and death. And um that poor terrified traumatized husband sat by her side constantly and didn’t leave her until she started to get better. From my own experience, I strongly believe that the Lord was using that time to commune with Emma and to strengthen her and to prepare her for what she was currently enduring and what lay ahead. And for me, as evidence of that, as soon as she started to regain her strength after two weeks, she immediately um wasn’t thinking about her loss, she was thinking about the work that she and Joseph were called to do together, and she started thinking about the manuscript pages that should have been back by now that Martin Harris had taken and not returned. So she, um, convinced Joseph, who still did not want to leave her, she convinced Joseph to go find Martin and get the manuscript back. And so Joseph did, and when he found out what had happened, Lucy recorded Joseph’s response when he heard the terrible news news from Martin, and I want you to see

[00:17:08] who his thoughts were, who he was concerned about. His reaction was, Oh my God, all is lost. All is lost. What shall I do? I have sinned. It is I who tempted the wrath of God. I should have been satisfied with the first answer which I received from the Lord, for he told me that it was not safe to let the writing go out of my possession. He wept and groaned and walked the floor continually. At length he told Martin to go back and search again. No, said. It is all in vain, for I have ripped open beds and pillows, and I know that it is not there. Then must I, said Joseph, return to my wife with such a tale as this. I dare not do it lest I should kill her at once. That’s, that’s what he was concerned about. He knew what Emma had just suffered, what she had just lost. He knew that she was as as invested in this work as he was, and he knew what he was feeling, and he knew that adding that onto Emma would kill her. That was his concern. I can’t do this to Emma. He then continued, and how shall I appear before the Lord of what rebuke am I not worthy of the angel of the Most High? So his thoughts were, how can I tell Emma and how can I face God? Those were the two directions that his heart was completely invested in, which I think was exactly as it should be. So, um, Emma was his partner, his one and only. Their hearts were already together in love. If any of you, I have um a sweet nephew whose beautiful wife, their first baby was stillborn, and watching the care between that couple watching my nephew love and take care of his wife through that painful experience was a profound experience. I Watch that before I lost children of my own, and and so I can’t help but think of Joseph in that same way, Joseph and Emma, how much he would want to take care of her and protect her and want to save her from any future suffering that he could. I think that that awful experience may have really galvanized that relationship in powerful and beautiful ways. And so, um. I think that he was living what the revelation that he would later have. Doctrine and Covenants 42:22, thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart and shalt cleave unto her and none else. This is what Joseph did. It’s what Joseph said. It’s what God said through Joseph repeatedly. Um, little Alvin was only the first baby that Emma would lose. Less than 3 years later, she gave birth to twins, Thaddeus and Louisa. The only Louisa was the only girl that she would ever give birth to, and they also died soon after birth. And um, I can’t imagine it’s, it’s so scary to be pregnant now, you know, when we have ultrasounds and prenatal care, I can’t even imagine back then when she lost her first baby, you know, that would be so terrifying, and then to be pregnant again, not know it was twins, and then lose 3 out of 3 babies so far. I cannot imagine. What that would have been for Emma. Um,

[00:20:30] I know that when I lost my children, I thought of Emma a lot. She actually was a big part of getting me through cause I knew that she survived, and so I knew I could and um. Anyway, We tell the story about the Murdoch twins. Remember you’ll remember the story of Julia Murdoch giving birth to twins the day after Emma had her twins, her little boy and girl twins, Julia and Joseph, and how that poor father with 5 little children, um, after 9 days, he knew he couldn’t do it, and he brought those babies to Joseph and Emma and asked them to raise him and we tell that sort of as a happy story. That’s how I’ve always heard it until I You know, I had my own experience and really started thinking about it, and I cannot even begin to. Wrap my head around the complication of these emotions that particularly Emma would have experienced because for those who When you lose a child or a baby, you don’t want a child or a baby. You want your child. You want your baby, right? I think of King Solomon with saying cut the baby in half, and the mother whose baby that was, you know, it mattered to her that it was her baby. You don’t just want a baby. And so I, I just know how the adversary works on you through grief and for Emma to, on the one hand. You know, like, why, why couldn’t my babies live? Why did these babies live and not mine? And then to feel both grateful, but then you would feel guilty if you, if you loved those babies, did I not love my babies? If you didn’t love those babies, you would feel guilt, you would feel, I, I can’t even begin to explain, you know, I just know how my walk has been where I’ve had to say, OK, I’m not going there, I’m not going there with the thoughts that just invade your mind. I think that this would have been an incredibly trying and complex time for Emma to, I’m sure she desperately wanted to have babies in her arms, but they weren’t her babies, right? And, and She could have accepted that at any time, but she was in the middle of a heavy, heavy grief. So I think that we need to take this story both not just as, oh look at this nice thing God did, cause it wouldn’t feel like a nice thing, right? It would feel in so many ways cruel and this deep irony and um and so I look at it now as another testament testament. Of the incredible strength of Emma’s character that she was able to work through her grief and bond with these babies and raise and love them as her own. I think that’s profound and amazing. And so, um, she, we also know the story that she only got to keep little Joseph for 11 months, right? Enough time for her to really bond and Have him and have worked through all of that hard stuff. Then she lost her 4th out of 5 babies the night that that horrible night that the uh mobbing happened. We’ll talk about that in a little while as well. And so she also lost one more newborn son, and then her hardest loss of all, Don Carlos, her 14 month old, and you know, running around, smiling, giggling,

[00:23:45] beginning talking little toddler that she lost. And that one almost did break her. We’ll get into, we’ll get into all of those a little bit more as we go on. So in all, Emma gave birth to 9 children, 8 sons and 1 daughter, and adopted 2 children, and she buried 6 of them, all but 4 of her own sons and her 1 adopted daughter. And um that that is. That was a high price to pay right there, but um I find it utterly miraculous that through all of that, and that wasn’t all she was dealing with. That was one thing and the thing that is, you know, I guess the thing that a lot of us moms in particular really can relate to maybe, but through all of that, she did not lose her faith. She did not waver. She did not um stop standing beside Joseph and trusting in God, no matter how hard things were and how hard things got. So I think it’s amazing to see Emma as this incredible woman of faith and even as a grieving mother. It gives me a lot of respect and love for her. So, um, after they got the, um, after they lost the pages, Emma actually supported Joseph in that, and she encouraged him where he was so afraid to tell her, and they were again when, when he finally again was allowed to translate, um, she continued to act as his scribe until blessing of blessings, Oliver came. So Oliver Cowdrey showed up to show the responsibility with with share the responsibility with her. And with both of them, the work progressed faster, and then with this generous support of friends and neighbors, especially Martin Harris, who probably felt so just what can I do? You know, that’s probably part of why he was so generous with them. The Book of Mormon was able to be um Published, which was a huge accomplishment. Now I do need to point out one thing that I think is also very important during the translation process. One morning, um, it’s recorded that Joseph or Emma had done something or Joseph had done something. They were, they were not getting along, right? Joseph, I think was mad at Emma. And he sat down to try to translate, and it says he could not translate a single syllable so long as he was irritated with his wife. So after praying, he finally walked outside and into the orchard where he made supplication to the Lord. And when he came back an hour later, he asked Emma to forgive him, and then the translation proceeded. I think that is a critically important story that we can’t afford to not think about. And remember, Joseph could not act in his prophetic calling if he wasn’t unified with his wife, if there was division and separation. So from the very beginning, God set it up that Joseph and Emma were necessary partners that had to do this together, and then God. Confirmed that as they went along. So if we, like, like, why did God do this? What was he trying to teach, right? From the beginning, it was set up that they needed to do this together in unity and love as a team, as a partnership. I, um, I just,

[00:26:57] the more I’ve gotten into the story, the more that I loved this, right? The the more that I love seeing what God was doing. So, as we said, Emma did Mary Joseph with her eyes wide open. She knew what she was doing. I don’t think she could have ever predicted what lay ahead of her, but um, she could have had her pick of young men. She, she was beautiful. They were affluent, she was well thought of, and, um, you know, she was a desirable spouse, but she was willing from the very beginning to give up all of that comfort, peace, prosperity, um, the approval of her family. She, she. Um, had far better prospects, and instead she was willing to step into this world that was far below her social status, where her husband was uneducated, derided, mocked, hated. And even arrested and despised by her entire community. She knew that his calling would make life difficult for both of them, and it would make it difficult for her, for him to provide her with comfort and stability. So I think that that is another testament to where Emma’s heart was and how God was working with and through Emma and confirming her to be able to be willing to do this. It’s also a testimony to the character of Joseph Smith, I believe, because Emma was well known for having discernment. She tended to be a little bit more cynical and skeptical of people’s characters than Joseph was even. He looked to her for her, um, insight about people. She had, she was a good judge of character, and I think she knew his heart and sincerity and never for her entire life wavered in her testimony of him and his calling. And so I think Emma’s character, integrity, intelligence, insight, goodness, and reputation are difficult obstacles that those who want to just write off Joseph Smith, demean and accuse him and say all the worst things about him. I think that we haven’t accurately or fairly dealt with the fact that Emma, who they can’t do that with, that Emma stood by him her entire life, and um it’s, it’s difficult to To demean and accuse Joseph without implicating Emma, which is very hard to do. So, um, as we said, right at the beginning, Emma jumped right into the middle of the fire with Joseph, and she willingly took it on. The night before her baptism, the church members, um, had worked to build a dam in the little stream to make a little pond where they could do baptisms, and that night in the middle of the night, um, the townspeople all came and broke down the dam. And so the next morning early before sunrise, um, Emma and Joseph got up and the people the the church members went and worked again to build up the dam until they got it full enough that they could perform the baptisms, and many of the people that these these were Emma’s neighbors and family members and friends, right, that she’d grown up with, many of them were in the congregation jeering and writing and walked home just mocking and giving these people a really hard time. And so,

[00:30:06] um That evening, so the evening after she was baptized, they were supposed to gather for for the confirmations and instead when people started coming, the constable showed up and dragged Joseph away. He was arrested again on the charges of being a disorderly. and setting the country in an uproar by preaching the Book of Mormons. So again, we want to use the fact that Joseph was arrested so many times as evidence of that he was bad, but when you see what the charges were, right? It’s just that they hated it, that they were close to it and didn’t like what they were doing and so Emma, I’m sure wept with grief and worry at this first of many forced separations throughout their marriage due to her husband’s arrests and rough treatment in prison. She gathered many other others together and prayed for him. When the um when someone came to see her, her eyes were just swollen with tears. She was so afraid for the well-being of her husband, and um when he finally came back, he’d been barely fed anything. He’d been very roughly treated and She took care of him and um it was after this first imprisonment. So they had lost their baby, they had lost the manuscript pages, they had worked again to publish the Book of Mormon, and Emma had been baptized. It was at this time that Emma received a revelation for Emma. Now this is a story that I’m so glad that I got into, cause we are going to do a whole other episode on On women’s place in the restoration and the kingdom because there is so much here. So first of all, the revelation given to Emma included as Doctrine Covenants 25 is the only revelation to a woman, and that opens up a lot of cans of worms, right? That’s what we’re going to get into that there is a revelation given to a woman. I know just when we dive into it with a lot of the things that we think and that we tend to say are the established pattern. You know, the, the early church founding messes with a lot of things that we want to claim as patterns. So, um, we are going to do an episode on that, but I want to now talk about Emma’s revelation. It’s not very long. Section 25, I’m sure most of you have read it. So I’ll let you read it on your own instead of reading the whole thing here, but I just want to point out some very interesting things. So first, Emma is accepted as a daughter in God’s kingdom, and the terms of being a son or daughter are defined. And then verse 2. If thou art faithful and walk in the paths of virtue before thee, I will preserve thy life. Emma lived to be 74 years of age at a time when the average life expectancy was under 40 years old. Then verse 3, thou art an elect lady whom I have called. A lot of people want to say a lot of things about elect lady. I, I don’t think anyone really understands some they say she was the elect lady and and claim to know what that is. I, I’ve never heard an explanation that makes a ton of sense to me. It harkens back to 2 John 1. Chapter one, which begins, the elder unto the elect lady and her children, whom I love in the truth, and it ends in verse 13, the children of thy elect sister greet thee amen. So that’s what we have the connection to the terms elect lady. I do love this term. Um, when you look in many different um translations, elect is often translated as chosen. So what God is really saying with this is that Emma was chosen. For me it harkens back to. Um, Abraham, where the in the book of Abraham where he saw the great souls and the premortal existence and was told, thou art one of them,

[00:33:45] thou was chosen before thou wast born. To me that’s what Emma is being told here is that she had been chosen, which had been confirmed again and again, especially by her being the one who needed to go with Joseph to get the plates. Um, it’s a powerful restatement of Emma’s unique calling. It was, it’s showing that Emma was called every bit as much as Joseph was, and she was no more interchangeable than he was, right? It wasn’t that Joseph just needed a wife or just needed someone. It was Emma specifically. She was called, she was chosen. She was the elect lady, chosen primorally to stand by and along to work alongside Joseph, that they would be a partnership. So, um, and then it goes on verse 7, and thou shalt be ordained under his hand to expound scriptures and to exhort to the church. This, oh, I exhort the church according as it shall be given thee by my spirit. This verse is loaded. It is, it is amazing, like seriously radical. These words, these are loaded words. This was told to a woman. She was told that she would be ordained to expound scripture and exhort the church. So when we go into our other, um, our topic just on women in the kingdom, right? We’ll get into a lot of these things. So here I’ll just mention this. Really quickly that this was in direct contradiction to the Bible, which um in 1 Corinthians 1434 says, Let your women keep silent in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for women to speak in the church, and then also 1 Timothy 2:11. Let the women learn in all silence with all subjection, but I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man. But to be in silence. So in this one revelation, God through Joseph is drawing on the term, drawing on the New Testament with the term elect lady, and at the same time radically departing from and contradicting obviously false teachings in the New Testament that um that teach us that women are not supposed to speak or are supposed to be silent or not supposed to exhort or expound and be ordained, right? And So we believe in our um theology that that the Bible is correct as far as it was translated correctly, right, but we give, um, Joseph’s revelation the ability to correct or add to the Bible. I think this is a clear case of this, right? I really wish that our Bible footnotes in these two verses would point us to Doctrine the Covenants 25, because I think that is a very important. I, how many times have we struggled through these scriptures, right, especially in Our own studies or in gospel doctrine class, and they come up and uh, it would be so much more helpful to go, oh, God corrected this in his revelation to Emma Smith. I love that. So, um, I, I, I am really excited to do that episode. We’ll get into that as soon as I can.

[00:36:57] So, OK, back to Emma’s blessing. It says thou needest. promises her that she needest not fear, for thy husband shall support thee in the church. This was an important one as well. Um, thy husband shall support thee in the church. So there are many nuances of the word support, right? Of course, the first thought that comes to my mind is like financial support a husband is to support his family, right? But, um, Webster 1828 dictionary, I’m sure I’ve talked about that before, that was the dictionary that was that defined the language at the time that Joseph was getting this revelation. So it’s a useful resource for us. So I wanted to see what other nuances there were of support, and it has a lot of Different definitions, the ones that really struck my intention, got my attention were to maintain with provisions and the necessary means of living as to support a family, the first one that I thought of, but also to sustain without change or dissolution as clay supports an intense heat. So support means it’s not going to change. It’s not going to be altered, right? That you can rely on it to be consistent and Stable and unchanging. She’s told to look to Joseph in that way. I think that’s important to recognize, then to bear, to, to keep from sinking, to sustain, to maintain as to support a good character, to make good, to substantiate, as to make good on a promise. In general, the maintenance or sustaining of anything without suffering it to fail, decline or languish. So it’s telling her you can rely on Joseph, right? You can look to him and trust in him in his calling in the church that he will be reliable and stable and consistent. He is safe. It is safe to put your whole heart and your whole faith in your husband is what God is telling her here with the expectation she had of their marriage marriage covenants, which he also goes on to talk about. So, um. This is Emma’s own personal revelation, and God is promising her directly that she can put all of her faith in her husband, and he would be faithful to her, that he would support her, or in other words, not let her down. That matters. That’s important. And then this leaves us with some challenging questions, right? Because if God is doing this, then do we not believe this revelation was from God? Um, if so, then we can try to fudge our way out of what it means, uh, because I do not believe that God is cruel or that God lies or God makes us false promises. Sometimes we have to dig in and understand what things mean, right? That might seem cruel, but God always fills us with understanding. At least that’s my experience, and I can see how much greater God’s way is than my way. But this would be a case of God telling her

[00:39:53] to trust in the unchangeable relationship we had with Joseph, put her whole heart into it. And then At the same time, just within one year of this revelation being given, be commanding Joseph at the point of a flaming sword with the threat of beheading, that he had to betray her in every way, and that he had to make all of these promises null and void by By betraying their marriage covenants and betraying all of her expectations that God had told her, I just, I think that that is impossible. We really need to think about these things in the context of this blessing, this patriarchal blessing, and this, it wasn’t her patriarchal blessing, that was a different one. This revelation was given one year before the standard narrative claims that Joseph received. The um revelation on plural marriage. So we have to ask ourselves some difficult questions about who we believe God is, right? And how he esteems this precious daughter who was chosen and elected to do this work, and and these promises were made to her through by revelation, through the prophet of God, who was also her husband. So, um, That’s, yeah, anyway, so, so she’s told this at one point and then within a year, apparently she’s told, I know that, you know, we have the story of it many years later in 1843. I think that Doctrine Covenants 13254, if she will not abide this commandment, the commandment to destroy her marriage, basically to Participate in polygamy that she shall be destroyed, sayeth the Lord, for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law. So this, this irreplaceable chosen woman was threatened with destruction, but that’s OK, cause God’ll give her husband otherwise to take her place. It, it can’t work. It can’t work together, right? So, um, she couldn’t at one time be his indispensable one and only partner, and then at another time completely replaceable and worthy of destruction if she didn’t. Break her marriage vows. So, OK, we’ll continue on. Verse 10 says, and verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lie aside the things of this world and see, seek for the things of a better. And that actually is what Emma did from the very beginning, right, when she very first married Joseph. That’s exactly what she did, and it’s what she continued to do for her entire life. The important thing to recognize here, the irony of this is That we have the unique, um, doctrine of eternal marriage, right? So we can’t say, like, we can’t say she should set aside her life with Joseph and the hope for the things of a better world. Her life with Joseph, her relationship with Joseph was the thing of the better world, right? It was the thing that she was seeking and the eternal bond that was important. So that’s really interesting. Then 13, wherefore lift up thy heart and rejoice and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made. So thinking about it, what covenants had Emma made, right? She had been baptized, so she had made her baptismal covenants which tied her to the Lord, and she had been married.

[00:42:55] She had made me. Covenants which tied her to Joseph. So just as Joseph, when he found out about the missing manuscript pages, we find out that he is tied to God and to Emma, and actually his thoughts were first for Emma before they were even about God, right? He was tied to those two. And this is what God is telling Emma, be tight to me and be tight to Joseph. Those were her covenants that she’s being told to rejoice in and cleave unto. And also the word cleave, right? This is such important language. It is hearkening to her marriage covenants. It’s saying again and again and again, put your trust in your husband. He’s got you and I’ve got you. And so, um, then. Let thy soul delight in thy husband and the glory which shall come upon him again and again with all of the pain that she’s experienced in watching her husband be persecuted and shamed and scorned. The Lord is filling her with hope and anticipation of the joy that is to come for both of them in their union. When a couple is married, one’s joys are the other joy joys, right? So the glory that will come upon Joseph will also be Emma’s glory. They will share equally in that, and that’s what God is pointing her toward to help her endure these trials that she’s going through. And so, um. The blessing also entrusts Emma with the stewardship of being over the um overseeing the collection of hymns and the production of a hymnal for the church. And that must have been an exciting um assignment for Emma with her musical abilities and talents and her love of music. And, um, that we’ll get into that a little bit more on the episode with Emma and Brigham, cause that was seems to me to maybe be the first place where there was some conflict and overstepping. And so, um, anyway, as I’ve kind of pointed out here, after really studying this 1830 revelation given to Emma, it is impossible for me to understand how anyone can believe that the same God. Who chose and elected this powerful woman as Joseph’s absolutely essential one and only compar companion, his equal and partner in his work of the restoration, can also believe that he, that God then immediately within a year gave 132, right, gave that revelation threatening her with destruction and anyway, I’ve already said it, but I just think it’s amazing. We tend to in this mindset think that Emma failed because she wasn’t willing to accept polygamy. God chose Emma. He intentionally chose a strong, powerful woman who was Joseph’s equal, and then he turns around and condemns her because she’s not sort of the timid, shrieking, shrinking violet, willing to take. Whatever is, you know, willing to just be controlled and ordered around because she’s not trained in the delicate art of keeping sweet, which means taking whatever you’re given with no thought, having no self at all. I, I like, we, this is an utterly insane belief in every possible way to think that God did these two things, right? Emma, who we know was an excellent hostess and homemaker and cook and um she, she just, she would have loved,

[00:46:13] I think, to have a home of her own, and I think she moved something like she and Joseph moved something like 1716 or 17 times in those first years before she had a stable home of her own. And um that’s that’s very difficult to think about. So, and often most of the time they were staying with other people, so she was in another family space, right? That would just be so uncomfortable and difficult for her. And so um we’re gonna tell a couple of stories during this period. So she was staying at the Johnson home, right? There’s a beautiful story about, oh, I’ll have to get her name, Sister Johnson, Mrs. Johnson. And her arm was um paralyzed with painful rhea um it was rheumatic is what they said. And Joseph miraculously healed her. He took his her arm in his hands and in the name of God and by the power of God healed her arm and she was able to move it around above her head, and it was miraculous and they were not only converted, but they invited Joseph and Emma to bring their two little babies and stay in their large farm home with them. So they were Emma. Part of her healing was she liked to use steam. And so she had, they had two little rooms down kind of on the other, on, on two sides of the kitchen, from what I understand, where she could keep steam going to take care of her babies. They were sick with measles at 11 months old. And for any parents who even in this day and age, right, with electricity and Tylenol, right? If you have had sleepless nights with one sick baby, let alone two, she and Joseph must have just been Exhausted, she was trying to keep the steam going. They were trying to take care of these sick little babies. She was very good at what she did. She knew how to heal them and to keep them well, but um one night she had. They, they had those two rooms. One room was theirs and one room was for the twins, but um she had, they had separated and she was in one bed with Julia, and she had sent Joseph into the other bed with, um, with little Joseph. And, um, she had finally fallen asleep in that exhausted, you know, stone sound sleep that only exhausted parents can understand maybe. Um, she was woken suddenly with a giant mob of drunken dirty men. In the in in the house, and she heard the baby screaming and Joseph screaming as they were dragging him roughly brutally out of the house. This exhausted father and mother trying to care for their babies, and this is what they had to deal with, right? And so this was one of the more brutal attacks. This one was awful, um, when they finally got him outside for according to one account, um. Emma, when she was finally able to go in and get Joseph, she wrapped both of those babies in a blanket and ran and hid outside in the freezing cold barn. She was probably terrified that her babies would be killed, that she would be assaulted, you know, so she stayed out there. And Joseph, you know, about this horrible night was taken. He was,

[00:49:16] he, he saw Sydney rigged and dragged his head bumping on the stones unconscious and thought conscious conscious and thought he was dead and Joseph was certain he would be killed. So they did try to poison him, they threatened to um kill him right there. They threatened him with all kinds of things. They Finally, they stripped him naked and had him stretched out in the freezing cold um ground, and then they brought the tar and feather and from head to toe. They tarred and feathered him, they shoved it into his mouth and nose. They they chipped his tooth, which gave him a Whi whistling lisp the rest of his life because they tried to um force a vial of poison into his mouth. This was a horrible, horrible attack. Um, Emma, I can’t even imagine when she finally, when they had left and she had the You know, felt safe enough to go back into the home cause the mob had left the home, and she went in and was trying to care for her babies, terrified of what was happening to her, her husband, so sleep deprived, so already at the end, both of them, right? And so when she um saw Joseph, well Joseph, it says that he, after the mob finally left him, he had to um work to get the tar out of his nose and his mouth so he could breathe as he was in and out of consciousness, fighting to Be able to come to, and when he finally had the strength to get up, luckily, cause this was, uh, you know, it was pitch black. There weren’t lights. It was out in the forest and he was able to see the lights of the home and he, you know, made his way, stumbled his way back to the home when Emma saw him, she fainted dead away thinking that the tar was blood. He had been just beat to pieces, but um. Anyway, she, I just think of that night, she’s caring for those babies and trying to, she’d been trying to nurse them so much and after that exposure, right? And then um friends had to come over and help Emma mix the They mixed lard into the um tar to be able to scrape it off of his body. This was with no running water, no electricity, this just unthinkable, and I think again in an amazing test testament to the character of these two, the next morning, um. Emma attended as Joseph calmly preached his Sunday morning sermon on the steps of the Johnson home for all of the people to come and listen to, and in that congregation were many members of the mob who had, you know, done their drunken debauchery, their brutality the night before, and Several of those mobbers, I guess that the character and testimony of Joseph Smith and Emma affected them as well, because several of them were baptized and Emma and Joseph welcomed them into the fold with full forgiveness, it, it seems,

[00:52:06] and so. Anyway, the, the pain of that night was not short-lived because little Joseph would continue to decline from the exposure of that night until he died. So that was, uh, what is it, the 4th of Emma’s 5 children that she lost, and I, and again, the complication of that. I can’t even Can’t even imagine what this woman, I, I really do think that that two weeks that the Lord communed with her, I don’t know, I, I put a lot into that to think of how he strengthened her to let her know to not lose her faith because these things seem so unthinkably cruel. So, um, here she was, she had her one little daughter, Julia and her husband, and um, they repeatedly lost everything, right? So. Um, Emma, there, there are more stories of, of hard things that happened. They again had to they had to leave the Johnson home after that night cause the Johnson sons were involved in that brutality as soon as Joseph was recovered enough, he, he, um, I think a Newell Whitney, um, had to leave, and so Emma went to stay again with her friend Elizabeth Whitney, who she had stayed with before she went, moved into the Johnson home, who actually was her dear friend and became one of her counselors in her relief society presidency, but According to the story, Elizabeth was sick and the the elderly aunt who lived with them, who always resented Emma and Joseph, turned Emma away without Elizabeth knowing. I, I cannot imagine Elizabeth’s remorse and heart, how heartsick she would have been when she found out about that. She, she’s the one that said, I would have given them my last morsel of bread. I would have given that to either of them. So that, um, left Emma, who had just experienced all of this loss, and her one little girl, she just lost her little boy and Now, um, she’s, you know, she, she was not wanted or welcomed anywhere I imagine she felt so she went to stay with her friend Elizabeth but was turned away and was left to go in the utter humiliation to go find somewhere to stay to go. I don’t know if she knocked on doors. I, I know she must have been praying, you know, and the Lord must have showed the way, but That affected her so deeply that she didn’t even tell that story. She couldn’t even talk about it for 13 years. It was 13 years later when she finally told Lucy what had happened. And even then the emotion of it was fresh. She still was suffering from that experience. What I,

[00:54:32] I hadn’t before realized or had any anyone put together for me was that during all of this, during that mob attack and during her time having to go find a new place to stay, she was pregnant again. She, ah, she did this woman anyway, and so just a few months later she gave birth to her first biological child that would live, Joseph Smith the 3rd. And, um, and then just continuingly day after day she worked alongside her husband side by side with him when um she finally did have her own home when they got to Kirtland, it was constantly opened up to everybody. They had so many people come. new converts, people working on the temple. She constantly used her skills to nurse and care for the sick. And so, um, they talk about how Lucy talks about how often there wasn’t, not only was there not a bed, but there wasn’t even a blanket available. So Joseph would put his cloak down on the floor and lay down on it, and Emma would lay beside him and then they would get up and take care of everybody again. It’s, it’s amazing what she did. She, um, Um, she, she cooked and cleaned and sewed and wrote and nursed the sick and including her husband and children repeatedly, and she collected and organized her hymn book and endured much more persecution and separation from her husband. So another hit that just would have been such a gut punch for this woman. She had been commanded in 1830 to collect, to make a collection of hymns, a hymnal for the church. And she worked on that for 3 years. And finally, after 3 years in 1833, it was ready for publication, and she had sent it to the printers, and the printing office was destroyed by mobs and her manuscript was completely gone. She lost all of it. I can’t even imagine. I, I mean, the faith of this woman in every endeavor. She just was so beset by obstacles and And trials and yet she continued faithful. So when they were in that um Kirtland home where she took care of everybody, she had her next son who would also live, Frederick, and but peace didn’t last long because they had. The immense stress of the bank failure that engulfed them, and Joseph had been traveling so much and trying to fix that, just the stress that they must have both experienced. So, um, he finally had to flee, which, and she was left again pregnant to pack up what she could with her three small children. Julia was 6, Joseph was 5, and her little Frederick was. and a half, and yet again leave everything behind to travel 800 miles chased by mobs to finally get to far west Missouri, where she would again stay and give birth in another woman’s home. And so it just continued and, um, it always seemed that the hardest things where she had to leave, it was winter and she was pregnant. That just seems to be the, like a big part of her life and um. So then when they were in far west, they um

[00:57:50] I I I just, I think that she probably kept thinking, OK, the worst is behind me, the worst is behind me. I don’t know how she could have imagined what still lay ahead of her, but it seems that The worst was yet to come. So, um, 5 months after Alexander was born, that baby she was pregnant with when when she fled to far west, Joseph was arrested and taken to Liberty Jail, which would, he would remain there for what was probably the darkest 6 months of church history, definitely to this point. So the the arrest was horrific. The mob slash militia, hard to know the difference. They intended to kill him right on the spot, right in front of Emma’s window where she and her children could see, but the courage and integrity of Brigadier General Alexander Donovan, who we all should know, saved Joseph. He refused to obey in a legal order to commit murder against his, he’s he’s, he obeyed his disobeyed his superiors and um so instead. They pillaged and looted the town. They Plundered and raped and did their worst. It was awful. Um, Emma and the children were driven into the street. Um, they were, they were then permitted to say goodbye to Joseph, and this is, this is the quote. Julia, little Joseph, and Frederick grasped his leg and held to his clothing and afraid to let him out of their sight, afraid to let him out of their sight, joyful to see him alive, desperately afraid to see him leave. Emma lost her composure and sobbed along with the children. What, and then they, they were dragging him in the street, but young Joseph clung, still clung to his father’s leg. Father, he cried, is the mob going to kill you? Emma watched the guard slam the child away with the side of his sword. You little brat, go back. You will see your father no more. So that’s what they experienced in far west, and um. Amid the brutality and conflict, Emma, like so many others, she was repeatedly robbed of everything she owned, which she would go. She went, I think, 2, maybe 3 times to visit Joseph in Liberty Jail, and she came home in her house, everything was gone, it was ransacked, right? And um she could not, she, she could not even send a blanket to her husband, freezing and shivering in that dungeon because she didn’t have a blanket for herself or her children. And so then She was forced to flee Missouri, right? And so this scene has been depicted in many portraits and because it is so heart-wrenching, so again, Emma on her own, she had her 2.5 year old in one arm and her um. I think her 8 month old, yep, 8 month old Alexandra in one arm and 2.5 year old Frederick in the other. She had, when she had been forced to flee, the one thing that she had grabbed from her home were the manuscript pages of the Bible,

[01:00:41] and on the Bible that Joseph had been working on. And another woman had sewn those into some bags that could be worn with a strap around her waist and hung on under her skirts. So she had those heavy bags of manuscripts under her skirts around her waist. One baby in this arm, a 2.5 year old in this arm, she told her little, um, how old were Joseph and Julia? I think they were 6 and 7. She told one of. Them to hold each side of her skirts. And she prayed her way across the Mississippi River. It had a thin layer of ice that she was afraid wouldn’t hold, and I looked it up and it was nearly half a mile, a mile across where she had to cross. And, um, she did that, right? That is what those like times when you would be, I can’t believe this is my life and just trusting everything into God. And it wasn’t just crossing the river because they didn’t have anywhere to go when they got across, right? They had to go on this complete exodus being kicked out of Missouri, so in the hope that her husband, as soon as she was out of Missouri in the hope that he would be released. And so, um, That that is unbelievable to, you know, the entire experience is unthinkable. So there were many more times of separation as Joseph was repeatedly um away on church business or In prison or in hiding, and Joseph fully relied on Emma to keep the business affairs afloat and to care for their family. So she, she had so charge of so much. She took care of the store, she took care of the finances, she tried to work with people to collect the debts that were owed, but so many people were willing to take advantage that it it about drove her out of her mind and she learned. These people don’t have the best interest of my husband at heart. She had to learn that in really difficult, painful ways. And so during all of these separations, Joseph and Emma wrote letters to one another, and some of those, particularly the ones that Joseph wrote to Emma, because she was better able to preserve them. Some of those still survive, and I think those are a fabulous source for us to learn about their relationship. There is deep affection, care, concern, sharing sorrows and suffering, um, trust and reliance on one another. It was a true marriage of equals. Emma. Like tells him the decision she’s trying to make the things she’s trying to work out, and he tells her, I trust your judgment. Yeah, you know, I mean there’s, you can see that these two really were life partners in the in the in the grandest sense and so um. He wrote to Emma in 18. I’m gonna read some some portions from their letters cause I think that those are some of the sources that we can really learn from, from their own words, who they were and what their relationship was. So in 1832, he wrote, My heart is entwined around yours for ever and ever. He wrote, the thoughts of home of Emma and Julia rush upon my mind like a flood, and I could wish for a minute to be with them. My breast is filled with all the feelings of a and tenderness of a parent and a husband. In 1838, his letter began, My dear and beloved companion and my bosom in tribulation and affliction. He wrote, those little children are subjects of my meditation continually. Tell them that Father is yet alive. He also wrote, O God,

[01:04:10] grant that I may have the privilege of seeing once more my lovely family to press them to my bosom and kiss their lovely cheeks would fill my heart with unspeakable gratitude. And Emma from Missouri in prison, he wrote, Oh Emma, do not forsake me nor the truth, but remember me. If I do not meet you again in this life, may God grant that we may meet in heaven. I can I cannot express my feelings. My heart is full. Farewell, O my kind and affectionate Emma. I am yours forever, your husband and true friend. He wrote, I shall be filled with constant anxiety about you and the children until I hear from you. In their letters they addressed one another as Dear wife, dear husband, dear affectionate wife, ever affectionate husband, my dear and beloved companion. Um, my dear Emma, they closed their letters with yours affectionately forever, yours for ever, your husband and true friend, and oh my kind and affectionate Emma, I am yours forever. These are the things that Joseph wrote to her that they wrote to one another. Um, there are no letters of this kind or any kind to any other supposed wives. There are no communications of longing, love, and concern. There is no. Um, sharing of burdens and seeking advice and giving, um, you know, there, there’s there this relationship was unique to only Joseph and Emma. There’s nothing else and um That to, I just the more I have looked into this and studied it, I have realized to call any other woman Joseph’s wife is to make a mockery of the term. This is what a wife was, this is what a wife is. It’s what Emma was to Joseph, and when a husband is what Joseph was to Emma. So in Liberty Jail, we have, um, we have 10 surviving letters that Joseph wrote at Liberty Jail. He wrote, through scribes, he wrote 5 letters to the church and in his own hand, he wrote 5 letters to Emma that we still have. And so we also have one letter that Emma wrote to Joseph. So I want to read that exchange. This is March 7, 1839. Husband, having an opportunity to send by a friend, I make an attempt to write, but shall not attempt to write my feelings altogether, for the situation in which you are, the walls, bars, and bolts, rolling rivers, running streams, rising hills, sinking valleys, and spreading prairies that separate us, she was very well aware of the landscape because she had traversed it with her children. And the cruel injustice that first cast you into prison and still holds you there with many other considerations places my feelings far beyond description. Was it not for conscious innocence and the direct imposition of divine mercy, I am very sure I never should have been able to have endured the scenes of suffering that I have passed through, since what is called the militia came into far west under the ever to be remembered governor’s not. Or an order fraught with as much wickedness and and as ignorance and as much ignorance as was ever contained in an article of that length, but I still live and am yet willing to suffer more if it is the will of kind heaven that I should for your sake. We are all well at present except Frederick, who is quite sick. Little Alexander,

[01:07:34] who is now in my arms, is one of the finest little fellows you ever saw in your life. He is so strong that with the assistance of a chair, he will run all around the room. I am now living at Judge Cleveland’s 4 miles south of the village of Quincy. I do not know how long I shall stay here. I think she meant how long I’ll be able to stay here. I want you to write an answer by the bearer. I left your charge of clothes with Hebrewy. Kimball when I came away, and he agreed to see that you had no that you had clean clothes as often as necessary. I just, I think it’s important to see how she’s taking care of him, how she’s telling him the details of their lives, how she’s telling him about their children and about like, this is a marriage relationship, right? No one but God knows the reflections of my mind and the feelings of my heart when I left our house and home, and almost all of everything that we possessed excepting our little children and took my journey out of the state of Missouri, leaving you shut up in that lonesome prison. But the recollection is more than human nature ought to bear, and if God does not record our sufferings and avenge our wrongs and avenge our wrongs on them that are guilty, I shall be sadly mistaken. The daily sufferings of our brethren in the traveling and camping out nights and those on the other side of the river would beggar the most lively description. The people in this state are very kind indeed and are doing much more than we ever anticipated they would. I have many more things I could write. I, I could like to write, but have not the time, and you may be astonished at my bad writing and incoherent matter. Manner, but you will pardon all when you reflect how hard it would be for you to write when your hands were stiffened with hard work and your heart convulsed with intense anxiety. But I hope there is better days to come, to come to us yet. Give my respects to all in that place that you respect. I am ever yours affectionately. I love that even at the end she makes that joke, she says, give my respects to all in that place that you respect. She’s making a dig against the guards and the um the the people there that they do not have respect for. She’s just wonderful and delightful, so. This is Joseph’s response. Um, March 21st, 1839. Affectionate wife. I have sent an epistle to the church directed to you because I wanted you to have the first reading of it, and then I want father and mother to have a copy of it, so you can see that even in church matters he relies on her, right? He’s giving her instructions for the church. Keep the original yourself as I dictated the matter myself and shall send another as soon as possible. I want to be with you very much, but the powers of mobocracy is too many for me at present. I’m just reading their words. The the grammatical rules were less established then than they are now. I would ask if Judge Cleveland will be kind enough to let you and the children tarry there until I can learn something further concerning my fate. I will reward him well if he will and see that you do not suffer for anything. I shall have a little money left when I come, so he’s still taking care of her welfare and her well-being. My dear Emma, I very well know your toils and sympathize with you. If God will spare my life once more to have the privilege of taking care of you, I will ease your care and endeavor to comfort your heart. I want to take the best care of the family. I, I want you to take the best care of your of the family you can, which I believe you will do, do, which I believe you will do all you. I was sorry to learn that Frederick was sick, but I trust he is well again and that you are well. I want you to try to gain time to write me a long letter and tell me all you can. And even if old Major is yet alive their horse, and what those little praddlers say that cling around her neck, do you tell them that I am in prison, that their lives might be saved? He wanted them to know that he didn’t want to be away from them. He um, he then gives instructions, um, to the church for her to oversee. She was really one of his counselors. If you lack for money or for bread, do that do let me know as soon as possible. My nerves tremble from long confinement,

[01:11:29] but if you feel as I do, you don’t care for the imperfections of my writings. Do Emma, dear Emma, do you think my being cast into prison by the mob renders me less worthy of your friendship? No, I do not think so. But when I was in prison and ye visited me as inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me. These shall enter into eternal life, but no more. Your husband, Joseph Smith Junior, I think, you know, the weight of being in prison wondering if you’re forsaken, if they’ve forgotten you, if they’ve left you, and it’s, it’s weighing on him. He continues, my dear Emma, I think of you and the children continually. If you could tell me your, if you, um, if I could tell you my tale, I think you would say it was altogether enough for one once to gratify the malice of hell and I that I have suffered. I want to see little Fred. Joseph, Julia, Alexander, Joanna, and old Major, and as to yourself if you want to know how much I want to see you, examine your own feelings, how much you want to see me and judge for yourself. I would gladly walk from here to you barefoot and bareheaded and half naked to see you and think it great pleasure and never count it toil. But do not think I am babyish, for I do not feel so. I bear with fortitude all my impression. So do those that are with me. Not one of us have have flinched yet. I want you should not let those little fellows forget me. Tell them Father loves them with a perfect love and that he is doing all he can to get away from the mob to come to them, so. Um, that, that tells us a lot, right? So I am sure that once Joseph and Emma finally got to Navu, they desperately hoped for peace and prosperity, even if they had to wade through deep affliction to get their deep affliction to get there. The work and suffering continued in Navu, the mosquito infested swamp that they had to drain and those first several years there were horrible outbreaks of malaria and other diseases every summer. Um, her Emma’s healing skills and tireless work ethics proved vital. She worked constantly to try to keep the people alive and as comfortable as possible. Many, many people died. The death rate in Navu was quite high. And, um, she cared for them as diligently as she cared for her own children. Joseph Smith the Third tells that he was so sick with malaria and was crying for his mother, and she had to explain to him that he wasn’t the only one that was sick. She was caring for everybody, right? And so during the um outbreak of the second summer, she gave birth to her little Don Carlos, who um the next year, the outbreak would take his life. She lost him at 14 months, and that was the hardest loss yet, um. And, and when she lost him, she was again pregnant, and 5.5 months later would give birth to another little boy who died at birth. So she lost those two children in under 6 months and just a few weeks later, word would come that her mother had died. So her her father had died a few years earlier, so.

[01:14:33] She lost her little 14 month old, her newborn, and found out that she lost her mother all within 6 months. It is hard to even imagine the depths of sorrow. We are supposed to believe that during all of these years and all of this time, Joseph was taking dozens of other wives as commanded by God. It is literally impossible for for me to believe in any way on. Any level that the god I know who had chosen Emma and intentionally turned her heart and her faith toward her husband, who I hope and pray and really believe was her main comfort during these brutal times when at the same time. During her continual and increasingly painful losses, command him to betray her in every way possible with her dearest friends, with the young girls that they had welcomed into their home and were raising as their own daughters, and that she was training in her skills of cooking and healing and that she was treating as her own daughters. I I can’t that that he that he would turn was that God commanded him to put her in a situation where she couldn’t trust anybody in the entire community that she had given her entire life to help establish. I, I just, how could any of us believe this? How could any of us want to follow or love or serve this God? This is not the the loving God. God, I know who is always worthy of our trust is not the same as this false idea of a heartless, hateful, lying god of 132 who would choose Emma, align her with Joseph, make them indispensable partners, and then threaten her with destruction because she wouldn’t break her marriage covenants, which God also had turned her heart toward in her revelation. I I, I just, it is, it is insane to me, truly insane to me that we believe this. I, I think like. No, no, that’s, there’s no room to believe this anymore, so sorry, I try not to speak that plainly, but sometimes it’s that plain. So, um, OK, the following month after losing her baby, um, Emma was nominated, sustained, elected, and ordained as the first president of the newly formed relief Society. That was March of 1842, and so Again, if it were true that Emma were out of line and out of favor with God, with Joseph, and with the women of Navu because of her refusal to accept polygamy, it would be impossible to explain this, right? My house is a house of order, not a house of confusion, says God, even in section 132. Yet the prophet who ordained Emma as the women’s leader, who they were to sustain, who was also his her they were in a covenant marriage relationship, right? We’re supposed to believe that he was ordaining her as their leader, telling them to sustain him while at the same time to to sustain her while at the same time telling them to lie to her about. Their secret marriages. It just, it, it doesn’t work and um it’s absolutely certainly not of God.

[01:17:54] If Joseph were for polygamy and Emma were against it, he could have very easily not ordained her as president, right? If the women knew about polygamy and knew that Emma was opposing it as the story, they they could have not. Um, sustained her. They could have not elected her to be their president. And if she were truly in in rebellion to the word of God, she could, would and should have been demoted in some way punished or held in lower regard, not elevated and given a platform, right. Emma consistently used her relief society position to both do as she has always done to nurse and so for and cook for and care for the um people building the temple and the people in need, but with her husband’s support and cooperation she also used her position to fight, to fight with her whole heart against the growing undercurrent of spiritual wifery and polygamy that was spreading in Navu. So truly think about the polygamist husbands going forward, right, the leaders in Utah. No polygamist husband or leader would ordain and elevate a disobedient anti-polygamist wife at all, right? They, they were told you say as you’re supposed to say or you’ll be punished, right? And Joseph elevated her to the highest female position and gave her a full platform with his support, often literally standing beside her to preach against polygamy, so it just The, the subsequent LDS leaders all decried Emma for doing exactly what Joseph supported her in doing and enabled her to do. It just does not make sense. So we’re gonna get into this more in future episodes on the founding and history of relief society, and um I, I want to do an episode on the denials of polygamy, right? Joseph and Hirums and Emma’s denials of polygamy. So for now, just remember that. At this time and all the way until 1876, the death of Brigham Young in Utah, the LDS canonized scriptures included Section 101, which was the um statement on marriage, which included, inasmuch as this church has been reproached with a crime of fornication and polygamy, we declare that we believe that one man should have one wife and one woman but one husband, except in case. Of death when either is at liberty to marry again. Emma, who had been commanded by revelation to expound scripture and to exhort the church, repeatedly used and referred to this scripture and printed it. She, she participated in many efforts to try to rid their would-be burgeoning society of this horrible growing thing that she saw threatening them. So, um, That’s Emma was fulfilling her calling completely in what she was doing. As always, throughout her time in Navvo, Emma continued to sacrifice and labor and work for the church and for her family and um Again, I can’t imagine that she had any way of anticipating that the worst was yet to come. So through so many years of loss, persecution, separation from her husband due to church work, hiding, and arrests, um, through so much deprivation and fear for the safety and well-being of her husband and her children, Emma continued faithful, tireless, and courageous. And then came the lowest blow of all,

[01:21:34] when Emma finally did hit the bottom, and the first time I know of that she questioned God. Um, in the confusion of Joseph’s last days, Emma, as always, again, serving as his partner, adviser and closest ally, helped him in every way she could. She helped plan his escape. She facilitated people seeing him, she followed his instructions. She did the very best that she could in this confusing, difficult time. Um, and while he was planning to escape, his thoughts were for the care of and well-being of his family, Emma and his children and his mother. Um, he was worried about their means and their well-being and the hope of seeing them again in the letters that in the notes he wrote to them. When instead of returning to Carthage, he instead and when instead of fleeing, he decided to return to Carthage, which he knew was to his death. Um, it talks about the partying that early morning, and it says he kissed each of his children and embraced his wife. Then in a scene that I think was reminiscent of um. The savior, asking Peter 3 times, Lost thou me. Joseph said to Emma, Emma, can you train my sons to walk in their father’s footsteps? Emma responded, Oh, Joseph, you’re coming back. He repeated the question, and she again insisted on her answer, Joseph, you’re coming back. And the third time, when he asked her, Emma, can you train my sons to walk in their father’s footsteps? Emma openly wept and again said, Oh, Joseph, you are coming back. Emma at the time was pregnant with her 11th child. The scenes of the homes of the two widows when they heard the news should tell us all we need to know about marriage, about what these marriages were. Um, Emma reeled in horror is the first bit we know Mary Mary Fielding Smith, Hirum’s widow. It says her knees buckled and the news flew like wildfire through the house. The crying and agony, the anguish and sorrow that were felt can be easier, that were felt can be easier felt than described, but will never be forgotten by those who were called to pass through it. That was Hirum’s daughter that recorded that Lucy, calm and tearless, seemed to me to have been in shock initially. Joseph’s 4 children. There was a visitor there who recorded, who was able to record the scene because he wasn’t as emotionally involved in it. He wrote, well, he, he explains that Joseph’s 4 children were in a heap on the floor, the younger children, quote, leaning over the older ones, mingling their grief in one wild scream of childish despair, and at the same time as Emma sat in the next room sobbing uncontrollably with her hands covering her face. This was her heartbroken lamentations that were gushing forth, and it is the only time I know that she at all questioned God. She sobbed. Why, O God, am I thus afflicted? Why am I a widow and my children orphans? A hollow comfort was offered that her affliction would be her crown, and she sobbed in response. My husband was my crown. For him and my children.

[01:24:52] I have suffered the loss of all things. And why, oh God, am I thus deserted and my bosom torn with this tenfold anguish. Um, the following day, the, the bodies were brought home, and, um, that evening that the next evening when the bodies were brought home and dressed, pregnant Emma was unable, was unable to walk across the room to see them without fainting. She had to be helped out of the room. Mary Fielding, trembling at every step, and nearly fell but reached her husband’s body and kneeled down by him. She clasped her arms around his head, turned his pale face upon her heaving bosom, and then in a gushing plaintive and then a gushing plaintive wail burst from her lips. Oh, Hiram, Hiram, have they shot you, my dear Hiram? Are you dead? Oh, speak to me, my dear husband. I cannot think you are dead, my dear Hiram. Her grief seemed to consume her, and she lost all power of utterance. Her two daughters and the two young children clung some to her body, falling prostrate upon the corpse and shrieking in the in the wildness of their world wordless grief. That was the, um, firsthand account of what was what happened. Then two men helped the still faint Emma, who again was pregnant, cross the room where she took several minutes until she was finally able to say. Now I can see him. I am strong now. She kneeled down, clasped him around his face, and sank upon his body. Suddenly her grief found vent and sighs and groans and words and lamentations filled the room. She spoke many words to him that were not heard or recorded, but they included, Oh Joseph, Joseph, my husband, my husband, have they taken you from me at last? Her children, this is again quoting the account, her children, 4 in number, gathered around their weeping mother and the dead body of a murdered father, and grief that words cannot embody seemed to overwhelm the whole group. Lucy then came in, and Emma walked over with a hand on each son cried, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken this family? There were 2 murdered husbands, 2 anguished widows, 1 forsaken mother. That was the scene. That was, that is what marriage is, right? Um, years later, when claims of their father’s polygamy increased, young Joseph, Joseph Smith the Third, would remember back. It is a source of gratification to me now to remember that no other woman bowed beside the bodies of these brothers as wives to mourn and exhibit their grief, save my mother at my father’s side and Aunt Mary at the side of my uncle Hirum. The scene was was sacred to their grief and theirs alone. So again, This is what a husband and wife means, right? To, um, I I I’ll I’ll say again that with all that they were to each other, their lives intertwined together, the the way the lives they lived together, the way they look to one another for comfort and support and decisions and moving forward,

[01:28:13] the children that they conceived, bore, and loved together. Remember, Joseph had no children with anybody other than Emma. And with the utter loss of every kind that Emma experienced at his death, to claim that Joseph had any wife but Emma is to minimize and mock what it is to be a wife, and to claim that Joseph was husband to more than Emma is to minimize and mock what it is to be a husband. You cannot, you cannot. Expand that relationship without destroying it. This is what it is to be married, to be husband and wife. This is what God ordained and sustained from the beginning, and then again ordained and sustained with Joseph and Emma in order for them to do their work. Even the sorrow of his death testifies of the eternal truth of God’s establishment of marriage between one man and one woman, and this to me is profound. It feels like. As if to seal the truth of monogamy in a final confirmation that could never be ignored or undone, I guess we could ignore it, we did, but that is always there for us to see. God left the Final testimony of monogamy and the final testimony of the truthfulness of Joseph and Emma’s monogamy in Emma’s womb. She was carrying his child at the time of his death. All the claims we want to make about them. Being at each other’s throat, there are reports of Joseph physically abusing her, of her screaming out of control, and him having to treat her roughly to get her to shut up. There are claims of him with all different women. There are claims of, I, I mean, there, there were claims of him, of her poisoning him and of her physically assaulting other people, all of all of these claims. The truth is in their letters, in their correspondence, in her grief when he was when he was gone. And in the fact that she was carrying his child even at the time of his death, she would give birth to her last her last child and Joseph’s last child, David Hyrum Smith, less than 5 months after Joseph’s death. So I think that the life of Joseph and Emma, the lives of Joseph and Emma, is one of the most powerful testimonies we have of the truthfulness of the establishment of marriage as God intentionally set it up from the beginning and from the beginning of their work together. Emma’s life was one of sorrow. Her grandchildren noticed and commented that Grandma’s eyes never smile. She smiles with her mouth, but not with her eyes, and um, she would sometimes be seen when she was alone sitting in a chair with tears running down her eyes, but her life was also one of goodness, service, and faith. Throughout her life, Emma was always admired, respected, well thought of, and loved for her goodness, her for her virtue, her bright mind and in industry and honesty, her generosity and her kindness. For the rest of her life she served and sacrificed for her family and for her testimony of the restoration. Um, some misguided people, I hope that you guys are still listening. I know this is long, but this is important because I have often heard, I think this is so strange. I’ve often heard people compare her second husband, Louis Bitterman, to Joseph in the context of a sad thing happened after Emma and Louis had been married for 17 years. He had an affair with a woman,

[01:32:02] Nancy Abercrombie, a widow, and and um and a child was born. And people use that as a demonstration of how Emma had finally learned her lesson. She had finally learned to make peace with polygamy, right? What they don’t seem to understand is that in making that comparison they are inadvertently admitting the truth that polygamy and adultery are the same. Infidelity is infidelity. It is opposed to God’s ordination and commandment of marriage, right? And so every time they want to say, well, well, well, you know what, I think that Lucy’s, I mean Emma’s reaction to her husband’s affair actually reveals so much of her character. I can’t find anything really from their own writings or their own lives to paint this picture of this jealous, angry. A harsh wife that it just doesn’t exist anywhere. She was never selfish. She was never jealous and even according to her own testimony and her children’s testimony, Joseph Smith the Third, there she was never harsh. There weren’t harsh words spoken between her and Joseph. And so when um when Nancy couldn’t afford to care for her child and brought the child and asked Emma to raise him. Not only did Emma acquiesce and agree to raise this child as her own, she also hired Nancy as a servant in her home so that she could be around her child. And then when she died, she insisted that Louis and Nancy get married so that they could be the married parents of this child, right? That is Emma’s nature and Emma’s character. That is who she was. It reveals something about who she always was. It wasn’t that she finally learned her lesson. What an incredibly awful, demeaning thing to say about this great and noble woman. And yet what a truthful thing to say about polygamy. I think that that’s a really interesting, interesting thing that people like to say. So there has been much con um criticism and condemnation of Emma. We’ll, we’ll cover some of that in some of the other episodes we do, but I personally have very little patience patience for that. Emma, again, I’ll say it again, was chosen by God to be the indispensable wife and partner of the prophet of the restoration. And I will dare say that nobody contributed or sacrificed more, maybe even as much to the coming forth of the Book of Mormon and the restoration of the Gospel as Emma Smith, she is the mother of the restoration, and we can’t be critical of her in any way. Um, she was told in her revelation to stay with Joseph, to go at his goings, to come at his comings, right? To be with him and to look to him. And she did choose to stay with him even in his burial. She stayed beside him. She stayed and cared for his mother. She stayed and raised his children as he had. Desperately asked her to do 3 times repeating, Please raise my children to be the kind of men that I am, and that is what Emma did. She raised remarkable sons, remarkable children who then gave their lives for the restoration. And, um, they served countless missions. They believed in the Book of Mormon, and Emma, her entire life worked high. carelessly to try to support

[01:35:31] them in their work in spreading the gospel. And it’s, I, I, I have an upcoming episode that I’m planning to do on family estrangement. And it’s so interesting because in a way, this is a family estrangement, right? This, this branch of Mormonism and this branch of Mormonism. And because we’ve been raised in this branch, we’ve been taught to see that branch with all the things they did wrong and all the bad things. And, but I think it’s important to recognize our common Testimony of and love for the Book of Mormon and also I think we need to acknowledge and recognize to ourselves that our branch of Mormonism took some winding path that we’ve had to come back from, right? And theirs didn’t. So in in a lot of ways there’s plenty of room for mutual love and respect. What I, what I will say is that I have no doubt that both God and Joseph. Smith have no disappointment or dissatisfaction with Emma Smith. I think that she was truly an elect lady, a noble woman who I think was absolutely wonderful. So, um, when we consider Joseph’s feelings toward Emma, instead of listening to the, to all the claims made by others, decades later, we can listen to What he wrote in his own journal less than 2 years before his death, with what unspeakable delight and what transports of joy swelled my bosom when I took by the hand on that night my beloved Emma, she that was my wife, even the wife of my youth and the choice of my heart. Many were the re, um, the reverberations of my mind when I contemplated for a moment that the many scenes we had been called to pass through. The fatigues and the toils, the sorrows and sufferings and the joys and consolations from time to time which had strewn our paths and crowned our board. Oh, what a commingling of thought filled my mind for the moment. Here she is again, even in the 7th trouble, undaunted, firm and unwavering, unchangeable, affectionate Emma. Those were Joseph’s feelings toward his wife. Joseph never lost his faith in Emma, and maybe even more profound. Emma never lost her faith in Joseph. Just a few weeks before her death, um, her sons, who were leaders of the RLDS Church, um, thought that they should do a interview with her to ask her experiences firsthand about Joseph and about the restoration. I’ll include the link below for anyone who wants to read through the entire thing because I think it’s just lovely, and we rely on this for much of our information about Joseph and Emma and their, um, the, the founding of the church. So it’s important, you know, it’s, it’s information that we are thankful to have. I just wish that we would pay attention to a little bit more of it, so. Um, I’ll read just a few of the questions. What about the, oh, I, I should say that the boys actually apologized in the preface for asking their mother again about polygamy. They apologized to her because it became a difficult thing for her to be repeatedly asked about when she had spent so much time and effort trying to

[01:38:40] put down the rumors, trying to plead her husband’s innocence and and so. They were sensitive to that. So, um, they said, what about the revelation on polygamy? Did Joseph have anything like that? What of spiritual wifery? She says there was no revelation on on polygamy or spiritual wives. She goes down to no such, I’ll skip down to no such thing as polygamy or spiritual wifery was taught publicly or privately before my husband’s death that I have now or ever have had any knowledge of. The question did he not have any other wives than yourself? Answer, he had no other wife but me, nor did he, to my knowledge ever have. Question. Did he not hold marital relations with women other than yourself? Answer, he did not have improper relations with any woman that ever came to my knowledge. Question Was there nothing about spiritual wives that you recollect? Answer. At one time my husband came to me and asked if I had heard certain rumors about spiritual marriages or anything of the kind. And assured me that if I had that they were without foundation, that there was no such doctrine and never should be with his knowledge or consent. I know that he had no other wife or wives than myself in any sense, either spiritual or otherwise. Then they go on, what of the truth of Mormonism? I know Mormonism to be the truth and believe the church to have been established by divine direction. I have complete faith in it. In writing for your father, I frequently wrote day after day, often sitting at the table close by him. He’s sitting with his face buried in his hat with a stone in it and dictating hour after hour with nothing between us. Had he not a book or a manuscript from which he read or dictated to you, he had neither manuscript nor book to read from. Got to turn the page. Could he not have had, and you not known it if he had had anything of the kind, he could not have concealed it from me. Are you sure that he had the plates at the time that you were writing for him? The plates often lay on the table without any attempt at concealment, wrapped in a small linen tablecloth which I had given him to fold them in. I once felt of the plates, and they, as they thus lay on the table, tracing their outline and shape, they seemed to be pliable like thick paper and would rustle by a metallic sound when the edge was moved by the thumb as one does sometimes thumb the edges of a book. Um, let’s see, where did Father and Oliver Cowdrey write? Oliver Cowdrey and your father wrote in the room where I was at work, so she was there for the entire process. Could not Father have dictated the Book of Mormon to you, Oliver Cowdery, and the others who wrote for him after having first written it or having first read it out of some other book? Joseph Smith and for the first time she used his name direct, having usually used the words your father or my husband. She said Joseph Smith could neither write nor dictate a coherent or well worded letter, let alone dictating a book like the Book of Mormon. And though I was an active participant in the scenes that transpired and was present during the translation of the plates and the and had cognizance of things as they transpired, it is marvelous to me, a marvel and a wonder as much as to any one. Um, that is the final testimony of Emma Smith given just weeks before she passed away. Then just a few days before her death she had a profound experience that she shared with her nurse. Her nurse shared it with Alexander, who wrote down this account. This is what the nurse said. Well, a short time before she died, she had a vision which she related to me. She said your father came to her and said to her, Emma, come with me. It is time for you to come with me. And as she related it, she said, I put on my bonnet and my shawl and went with him. I did not think that it was anything unusual. I went with him into a mansion, a beautiful mansion, and he showed me through the different apartments of that beautiful mansion. And one room was the nursery. In that nursery was a babe in the cradle. She said,

[01:42:40] I knew my babe, my Don Carlos that was taken away from me. She sprang forward, caught the child up in her arms, and wept with joy over the child. When she recovered herself sufficient, she turned to Joseph and said, Joseph, where are the rest of my children? He said to her, Emma, be patient. You shall have all of your children. Then she saw standing by his side a personage of light, even the Lord Jesus Christ. I think we should be slow to condemn Emma. The accounts of her final death say that she stretched forward and said the words Joseph, Joseph, Joseph, and Joseph Smith the Third said, she said, Joseph, I am coming, and then fell back on her pillow. I think that we need to be. More thoughtful about this, right? I think we need to look at God’s working with Emma, God intentionally choosing Emma and establishing her as Joseph’s partner. We need to consider her actual words and the actual words of Joseph Smith when we look into this topic. It is so sad to me that we have believed the lies that were blatantly told about her will get into some more of them, and that we’ve let that shape our perspective of Emma on every I’ve read. Spent so much time um reading numerous biographies on her and listening to many presentations on her, and so often we have to make points like Emma had her problems, Emma was wasn’t perfect. Emma made mistakes. Emma was crooked in many ways. All, all of these awful things we say that we don’t need to say. Emma was a beautiful, noble, elect, chosen, and called daughter of God who did a marvelous work and participated. In every way and what we now benefit from, and I think that we owe her the honor of listening to her and believing her. So thank you again for joining this long episode. I hope you found it worthwhile and I will see you next time.

132 Problems: Revisiting Mormon Polygamy

42: Emma and Joseph | 132 Problems: Revisiting Mormon Polygamy

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