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Transcript
[00:00] Michelle: Welcome to 132 Problems revisiting Mormon polygamy. This is a bit of an unusual episode. I haven’t done one like this before, and it’s more along the lines of some other episodes I’ve done that have been more 132 solutions. That’s what we’re trying to present, as well as the problems is also some solutions. I’m so thankful to be able to introduce you to this remarkable woman, Allie Dotte, and thank People that she reached out to me with her brilliant idea of trying to provide some healing for the various traumas that polygamy may have caused for many of us, both in our past and in our ancestry and also in the journeys that we have gone on. So I hope that while this episode is a bit unusual, it will be as impactful and, um, useful to all of you as. It was to me. I also want to again thank all of those who contribute to this podcast. It is more helpful than I can say, especially with some new things that we are, um, starting to get underway, some new projects and big ideas that I am really excited about. So please contribute if at all possible, and thank you for joining us as we take this healing journey. I am so glad to be here with this beautiful, powerful, inspirational woman, Allie Dozette, who I am so thankful to call a friend. Allie and I have actually been online friends for many, many years. I think we’ve been in many mothering groups and homeschooling groups together, but we just recently actually connected and officially met each other, well, met each other online. And I have to say that um Ali has already been a tremendous blessing to my life. The work that Ali does has borne profound benefits for me and helped me to deal with some very challenging, um, experiences with a lot more resilience and, um. Joy, then I think I otherwise would have been able to. So, Ali, I am so thankful you are here today. And um I want to just quickly give it an introduction about you, but first, do you want to explain a bit about who you are and what you do?
[02:19] Allie Duzett: Uh, sure. OK. So my name is Allie Dotte and I run Allie Dutlasses.com, which is named that way because I thought, what am I, where am I gonna put all the stuff that I talk about? What do I call it? I guess I’ll just name it after myself. It was, uh, I was supposed to be a placeholder, but now I’ve been using it for 6 years. But that’s where you find all my stuff. And, um, my big passion in life is emotional healing and helping people. Clear out their emotional traumas as quickly as humanly possible. This is really my philosophy in life, OK? Um, so the, the thought that I had many years ago, that is still what gets me up every single day is this idea of, um, a poor wayfaring man of grief. OK. Do you know that hymn? Where, um, we see these beggars and these suffering people in these different circumstances. And then we, we get to be this person that is administering relief to those people. And in the end, the person that they’re serving is Jesus Christ. You know, you never just serve a beggar, you never just serve a homeless person. You’re always serving Jesus Christ. And this idea that all of us, um, anytime we help each other, we’re directly serving Jesus. And so, I think about Jesus on the cross and the pain that he goes through, and I, I became obsessed with it. And I just feel like whatever I can do to release the total burden of pain in God’s children, the better. And so, I’ve been blessed with, I don’t know how to put it. I have A unique skill set and talent base that helps me help a lot of people, and years ago I had done just hundreds and hundreds of individual sessions and I thought I need to find a way to help more people heal their traumas faster. We don’t have time. Before the second coming, in my opinion, for everybody to have 10,000 hours in therapy so that we can all handle it. We have to figure out something faster. And one thing that I hear a lot from people that use my stuff is that they make more progress in a couple of hours of my recordings than they do in decades of therapy. This is a really common thing that I hear. And that’s what I love to hear, and that’s what gets me going in the morning, because I want everyone to clear out their problems as fast as possible. We need to let go of our childhood trauma. We need to go of our, of our religious trauma. We need to let go of our adulthood trauma and all of the things that are holding us back from feeling peaceful and calm, because if we can’t feel peaceful and calm with the world as it is today, how are we going to be peaceful and calm and be able to listen to the voice of the spirit when things are absolutely crazier than we can imagine. So that is really what motivates me and that’s why um I had reached out to Michelle originally about doing a session on healing the wounds of polygamy. Because this is a huge issue and I actually have my client base that was reaching out to me all the time asking for a session on this, um, but my job is not just to reach the LDS community and my own client base is expanding into a much more diverse religious base and I, I asked Michelle if she wouldn’t mind, uh, being a space where I could create this work for people to come and start dealing with and processing their wounds around polygamy, um, where it didn’t have to be the thing that all of the, you know, Baptist and Lutheran moms see when they log into my website. They’re like, what is she doing on polygamy.
[05:51] Michelle: Well, and I was so excited about this because I think that solutions, we, I mean the, the podcast is 132 problems, but I have been trying to focus more recently on solutions because we need to, we need to be aware of the problems but we really can’t dwell on the problems we need the solutions and I was thrilled with what Ali was talking about. I do think there is a lot of um. Generational trauma, what do we call it? The epi epigenetics that are passed down to us. And the, you know, we know that a mother’s, um, womb affects her child and what her child will expect to encounter in this world, and the stress signals that are passed on. And I think that’s why we’re told that, um, things, things, uh, we, we, we bear consequences unto the 3rd and. Fourth generation we’re told that often, right? And that really is what we are talking about. And so the fact that it is time for, um, healing to begin on these past traumas that have been handed down to us, because, as Ali and I have talked about it, it’s both the generational traumas that are passed to us in our DNA through our ancestors and our cultural trauma, but also the trauma we ourselves experience around this topic and trying to deal with it. And um so I’m, I want to let everyone know that actually Allie hopefully is going to be a bit of a familiar face. We’re, we’re hoping that we can do a series of. Um, episodes over there, you know, and ensuing months on different topics. We’ll see how, how it goes, but I think that, um, bringing her just calming experience and her depth of wisdom and just her gift of healing to this topic is a huge gift to all of us. I’m very thankful that we connected and that Allie reached out. And I do want to let people know just a little bit about Ali. She told us, this is, this is bio online it says Allie Doucette is a teacher, speaker, author, and practitioner in the field of fields of health and wellness and the science of medical intuition. She has a passion for exploring the power of human consciousness and self-awareness and offers a variety of programs and courses supporting personal development. She delights in helping others to massively expand their own intuition so they can heal themselves and their families. On an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. I know that Ali is also the mother of, I believe, 5 children. Is that correct? So she’s, she’s got the full package going. And then I believe she is also, Ali, tell me if this is correct, the author of 13 books. Do I have that right? I looked it up.
[08:22] Allie Duzett: Right now, I think there’s 11 that are out right now. But there’s more in the hoppers, so that will be true soon.
[08:30] Michelle: OK, so more coming. I counted 13 on Amazon, but maybe some of them are um repeats of something else, but some of the titles include Magnetic Femininity, Unlock Your Feminine Majesty and Heal Your Life. Um, mastering your intuition, how to get answers from God and your soul, and one that I’m guessing as we go forward it’s going to be applicable to us called Heal Your Ancestors, Heal Yourself. And, um, and, and several other titles. So Ali has just created an immense catalog of healing tools that, um, I, I think would benefit anyone to tap into. And I, again, thank you so much, Ali, for bringing your incredible skill set to us on this channel.
[09:12] Allie Duzett: Thank you so much for hosting me. I, I feel like I’m on a mission, you know, I feel every day I feel that time crunch. What we got to get ourselves together, you know, to tons are ticking clocks are ticking.
[09:24] Michelle: What you want me to do today, Lord? Yeah,
[09:27] Allie Duzett: exactly.
[09:28] Michelle: Yes. So, I guess we’ll just go ahead and get started. OK.
[09:34] Allie Duzett: Yes, this is healing polygamy wounds. And I, I warned Michelle in advance, it might be lengthy cause there’s a lot of them. So we may have to do part one and part two, part two on a different day. Um, before we get started, I always recommend that everybody have a pen, paper, water, and tissues because, um, when You do this work, first off, it’s nice to be able to take notes. If something really sticks out to you. I really love it when people write it down so you can come back to it. Um, this work is very I don’t know. It, it helps to be hydrated. The more hydrated you are, the easier your body is gonna be able to like let go of the chemicals of what we’re working with. Remember that every trauma is a chemical situation in your physical body. We’re dealing with molecules, OK? You know, like dopamine deals with like your happiness and like serotonin, but we also have things like nociceptin, the chemical of frustration, OK? And we have a whole bunch of different chemicals. Adrenaline is a big famous one you’ve probably heard of. When you do this kind of work, um, you’re actually breaking apart the chemicals of trauma and you’re literally gonna have to pee them out or cry them out. They are going to be, you know, dissolved into water and you need to get that water out of your system. So drink up. That’s the long version. And tissues, um, my tissues are, I might have to lean far over and grab them if I start to cry, but many people cry, so you might as well keep your tissues close. And so today we’re working on polygamy wounds and we’re working on a variety of them. Uh, today, we are using guided imagery, which is sort of like hypnotherapy, except there’s no hypnosis. OK? So this is something that everybody, there’s no reason to not be cool with this, in my opinion. Um, you are fully conscious the whole time, you’re in charge of your own brain. It is safe to listen to this while you drive. You can, um, listen to this while you fold your laundry and do your dishes and go on a walk. Um, you are in charge of your own self the whole time. And, um, what I’m going to be doing is kind of guiding you through imaginary scenarios where we get to symbolically work with these different topics so that you can work with the scenario. I don’t know, internally, you’ll see for yourself as we work with it. Um, but it’s really just an opportunity to have a guided conversation with your own soul and your own experience. It’s kind of like talk therapy, but instead of talking to a random person, you’re talking to yourself. And, uh, you may find that it is a lot faster than regular talk therapy. So this is our agenda. I know it’s so long. Um, it was in a different order before, and I just changed it. Um, but we’ve got to start with trauma around God, trauma around our testimonies, trauma around church structure and trusting prophets and authority. And so that’s where we’re gonna get started. My, if all we do is a couple of things today, my number one is that, and, um, maybe #2, which is our present day trauma around discovering polygamy for the first time. Which is traumatic. It’s so traumatic to be like, oh my gosh, polygamy, it’s in our history, and then it’s so traumatic to be like, oh my gosh, they told me it was OK. Maybe it wasn’t OK. Oh my gosh, you know, so we’re gonna deal with both sides of the coin, um, and that’s my big goal for today and then we might save all of this for another day, but we’ll see how it goes. And the tools that we’re gonna be using are fabulous imaginations, uh, which you don’t have to visualize anything. I’m gonna have you imagine people, places and things. If you can’t see a picture, that doesn’t matter. I can’t see the picture either. It doesn’t matter. We’re just gonna think about it. If you can’t see a picture, just think about the concept, still counts, it will still get the job done. Um, if you have like aphantasia, doesn’t matter. Just think about the concept. Tapping aphantasia? Afantasia is the clinical condition where you cannot imagine something. So if you think of an apple, some people can imagine an apple and they’ll see it in their mind like an app, like a real apple. And some people might see more of like the outline of the apple and some people might just think about the concept of an apple, and they can’t see a picture, they’re just gonna like know that they’re thinking about an apple, but there’s no picture.
[13:48] Michelle: OK, OK, and all of those are valid. All right. All of
[13:51] Allie Duzett: those are valid. It doesn’t matter. We’re just getting our brains to engage with the concepts, so. Um, OK, tapping, tap on your forehead or tap on your collarbone, you’ll see my picture right here, and I’m gonna tap along so you can just copy me. The tapping is really optional, but it’s just kind of a good like grounding device where you’re reminding that like, your spirit is inside your body. You’re creating a new rhythm to kind of associate with these different ideas, and then taking deep breaths. I know taking deep breaths can sound like stupid and cheap, but it is not. Um, your lungs create neuropeptides that break apart the chemicals of emotion. And that is why it is so important to breathe deeply. Um, the deeper that we can breathe in general and the deeper we can breathe today while we do this, the more powerfully we’re gonna be able to clear out old chemicals of trauma. And I’m speaking very literally, I’m speaking of breaking the chemical bonds of the chemical structures of these chemicals that are keeping us in a state of trauma. Um, so we can literally pee them out, basically.
[14:52] Michelle: So, OK. So, so breathing, I understand it’s like the oxygen is as necessary as the water to be able to break things out, inhale and exhale and reset and that calming sense. The tapping, help me understand that just a little bit more. Is that similar to like walk barefoot on the grass, like just a way to really Combine the emotional and chemical with the physical. Is it, is, is that kind of what it’s doing? Like keeping us in our bodies? You don’t have to go into it if it’s too difficult. I just, I just would love some more understanding of that.
[15:22] Allie Duzett: No, thank you for asking. Yeah, no, this, this is good stuff to understand because we are gonna deal with it. If you’re new to it, it might seem like super weird. There’s a couple of different things that are going on here. I mentioned the rhythm, and I think that there really is something to that as far as like Um, where, if you do tap on yourself and you feel this rhythm, um, it kind of gives you another kind of input to help your brain focus on, and you’re kind of setting this intention that you’re changing how you’re thinking now, and it’s kind of like, uh, you mentioned grounding on the earth. It’s kind of a grounding sensation where it’s like, my body and my brain are choosing together to think differently now. But these exact spots where we’re tapping, um, this is called the K27. If you kind of go to your collarbone and go down a little bit and dig in with your thumb, there’s gonna be points like right here that are really painful. Can you find the painful spot? It should be like, yow.
[16:16] Michelle: OK. Those painful
[16:16] Allie Duzett: spots are your K27s, which is an acupressure point. And you can see, the more painful it is, the more like gunky lymph you have stuck there. This spot right here is where I usually have people tap, which is right over your thymus gland, um, which the thymus gland is really interesting. I mean, like, we could talk about that forever and ever, but go Google the thymus gland. It, it, it regulates so many different parts of your body. Um, when you tap on it, it kind of, it kind of manually palpates it and kind of shifts your hormone function. OK. So any time you feel stressed, it’s a really good time to just tap on your thymus gland because you are going to start flushing out your stress hormones and shifting, you’re, you’re making room for, for a new hormone situation inside of yourself. And same with this forehead area. You have a lot going on. I mean, like your brain’s right on the other side, OK? Um, but you can feel, if you tap on different parts of your face, like right here where you’re I like lean in really close where your eyebrows and there should be a really sore spot right there. OK. Right on the temples, there’s like a little tender spot right there. Um, uh, on the tips of your cheekbones, there’s a little tender spot. Can you feel these tender spots?
[17:30] Michelle: I can right there for sure. Yeah, points.
[17:33] Allie Duzett: And when you palpate them, I mean, it’s like squishing. Anything, you know, you squish it and it kind of forces out what’s there and opens up a vacuum where new stuff comes in. So you’re actually manually flushing your lymphatic system. So this is a way that we are actually not just targeting our emotional trauma as like this nebulous etheric thing. We’re really realizing that and working with it on a biological level and a physiological level. So we’re, we’re physically palpating these different parts of our bodies to squish out what’s not serving us or what’s, what’s currently there and stagnating and opening up space for something new.
[18:13] Michelle: Um, wow. That’s excellent. So we have really are manually, um, assisting our healing, which is part of why this is so fast, because we’re hitting it from each direction. There’s actually also something with our vagus nerve right here with the thymus. Isn’t that also tapping into that somehow?
[18:28] Allie Duzett: Oh man, I just did a massive session on the vagus nerve, OK just a couple of weeks ago. And yeah, this does help the vagus nerve. For those who are not familiar, your vagus nerve kind of originates at the base of your skull, and it goes all the way down. Like all the way down, yeah. It connects to every major organ in your whole trunk. I mean, your heart, your lungs, your intestines. If you have gastroparesis, if you have trouble swallowing, if you have um a spleen problem or a liver problem, like it all comes back to the vagus nerve. And working with um the nerves in this area and physically palpating them is going to help the entire nervous system structure. Yeah. So, excellent point.
[19:11] Michelle: OK, thank you for going into that. That helps me to get more understanding. I’ve heard of tapping before, but it’s really helpful to get a little more insight into what it is. It doesn’t seem just weird. It’s like actually serving a legitimate purpose that we can understand. Thank you. Yes,
[19:26] Allie Duzett: exactly. Well, thank you so much for asking for the clarity because I recognize that this is weird. I mean, like, if you don’t know what that it’s like scientifically backed, it’s just weirdo stuff. But you know what?
[19:37] Michelle: Taking a little white pill is weird too, right? Like, like, it’s just what we’re familiar with. So it’s really helpful to have, to have more insight. I appreciate
[19:45] Allie Duzett: that. Yes. No, thank you so much. I love it. Um, my intention here is just to help everyone find a lot more peace on their journey, because this is really deep stuff that we work with here on this channel. And so regardless of where you are in your faith or your understanding of polygamy, Um, hopefully we can all agree that The whole situation has led to an enormous amount of trauma. Like, even if you personally don’t feel trauma about it, can you see that so many other people do? And even if you personally don’t have a problem with it, can you imagine that perhaps your great great great grandmother might have had a little problem with it and maybe her trauma is still impacting her family line and the people that grew in her body while she was simmering in these chemicals of trauma, you know, um. My, my big hope with this is just that by having this conversation that we’re gonna have, you’re gonna have this conversation in your own mind with your own self, and I’m gonna help guide you through it. You will be able to shift out of trauma zone and into a state of clarity and peace. If you feel an upheaval about all the stuff that you’ve learned, Um, my big message is you don’t have to live in that upheaval forever. Upheaval isn’t wrong, OK? Upheaval is important. We all need upheaval all the time. I mean, like, and some of us more so than others, and I’m sure we can all the people that really need to be upheaved, but, um, but it’s not about them, it’s about us.
[21:10] Michelle: You can’t, yeah, we can’t grow without disruption, right? We have to get out of our shells and we’re not growing.
[21:16] Allie Duzett: Yeah, exactly. We have to have this disruption. Um, but we also don’t have to live in a state of drama and trauma about it forever. Like, we, we all go into these tizzies, we find this new information, it shakes us up, but we don’t have to stay shaken up. Forever. And that doesn’t mean we go back to the way things were before. It doesn’t mean we have the same relationship with God or church or religion as we had before. It just means we can find peace and You know, hold space for the experiences that we’ve had along the way.
[21:48] Michelle: Excellent. And I do want to just break in with a couple of things here. Uh, this is a very feminine presentation because we’re both women, and we are talking about, I think primarily the trauma of women, but, but I don’t want to ignore the trauma of men as well. And Allie and I have talked about that we would like to at some point do a future episode specifically for the men. But For the, the men listeners often the men are not represented quite enough on my podcast which I recognize and so I want the men to know that that there is also so much trauma handed down from their mothers and from their fathers. It’s when we, when we um like. Claim that an abomination is is commanded of God and everyone is forced into that. It’s traumatic for everybody. And so this, this healing is necessary for everyone and, and, and I like that you brought up those who maybe don’t feel traumatized by this. This is a good exercise in compassion as well to, to tap into what this has done to other people and maybe there is some trauma that you are blind to, right? Maybe some things can break open as you go through this process for anyone who’s not recognizing it on the surface.
[22:55] Allie Duzett: Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I do have a section later specific to men, uh, but it’s like much later and we may not have time for it this exact day, but certainly on another day, um, but everything that we have going on here, um, everybody is invited to participate in these conversations if, if they want to, and they will all be effective. And some I have us imagining women and some of us I have us imagining men, but they will still be effective regardless of perfect a person’s gender. OK, let’s get started. OK, part one is on God betrayal and religious betrayal. And I was telling Michelle, I started with in another, in another spot with this presentation, and I thought, oh no, we need to, we need to work on our relationships with God, the number one thing, because how can we accept peace from God with these later things if we are still stuck in a spot of feeling so betrayed by our Creator. So we’re gonna be working on big feelings around betrayal from God, prophets, religion in general, religion specifically, the church structure, questioning our testimonies and everything that we’re gonna work with is symbolic. And this is something that, uh, you know, a lot of the people that use my recordings go back and. Listen a bunch of times, and they listen with different perspectives, or they’ll say, this time I’m listening specifically for this situation, this time I’m listening specifically for that situation, and you can reuse this as many times as you need to, in as many different ways as you can think of, and it will still be helpful for you.
[24:25] Michelle: Oh, I’m so glad you brought that up because I was going to ask because God betrayal can show up in so many ways, right? Like, I know I have experienced it with, um, Traumatic things that I have gone through and I, and I know many other people who feel like they get an answer one way and things don’t go or when things are, you know, when we go through horrible things that we don’t understand how God could allow them, I think that this could apply to all of those things broadly to polygamy, yes, but to all of our life circumstances. So I like that you said we can come back. I can listen again. And it just started raining really hard here. And it feels to me this like profound symbolism of like, OK, we are washing so many things away in this conversation. This is really beautiful. So I love listening to the rain on the roof while we talk.
[25:09] Allie Duzett: Thank you so much. It’s been a rainy day. It’s raining here too, and I just have to mention, it’s also a lunar eclipse today. And this lunar eclipse is taking place, um, I mean, the short version is it’s inviting all of us, it’s giving us an opportunity to let go of old delusions and spiritual issues that are not serving us anymore. Like that is specific for this exact eclipse, like on a symbolic level. And uh so it is not a coincidence. This is the first day that worked out for us to get together. The rain is here to wash things away. The stars are aligning for us to clear out things that are not serving us anymore. I think this is a miracle.
[25:51] Michelle: This is beautiful. And this won’t air today for everyone watching this, we recorded this, um, back on the 17th when all of this was happening, and it might be a week or two before it airs, but I, I say that we get to take all of this symbolic energy and everything that’s happening forward to when everybody, um, watches this, so that all of that is relevant whenever people watch this as well. Can I claim that? Is that OK?
[26:16] Allie Duzett: I do believe it works that way, frankly, I do believe that. Great. OK, you can go ahead and close your eyes or you don’t have to. It you either way, but right now this image is called closing the curtains. Go ahead and imagine a woman who has just learned new information that for the first time has her questioning her entire worldview. See how, see her remember how yesterday she was happy and her world seemed so simple. But today she learned new information and she feels disturbed and upset and confused and complex. Everything that was simple seems complicated now. The simplicity of the world that she lived in yesterday is totally gone. The simplicity of this morning is gone. All of a sudden. Her world has changed and where things were easy, now things feel hard. Things are confusing and even shocking. See how yesterday she felt safe and happy to leave her curtains open all the time. But now, with her new information, there’s a part of her that feels afraid and it, it feels vulnerable to leave the curtains open, and imagine her closing the curtains. Imagine this woman’s feelings of terror, confusion, anxiety, and panic. Feel them washing over her. Take your deep breaths. Imagine how she doesn’t know what she feels anymore. Only that she does not feel the same as she did yesterday. And the innocence of her trust before is gone now. And where that innocence was, there is something harder, a little bit more skeptical. It’s a little less happy. There’s a new part of her that needs more answers than she’s ever wanted before. She has new questions than she ever had before. And there’s a part of her that feels really unsafe because the foundation of her entire worldview has shifted, and she does not know how to reconcile it. Imagine her blame, her feelings of having been lied to and brainwashed. You see her telling herself these stories of, well, this was not my fault. Someone I was tricked. People told me these things and I just believed it. I didn’t, it wasn’t my fault. Imagine her feelings of upset and feelings of stress and panic. And if you can feel these feelings and they’re feeling big, go ahead and tap, tap, tap if you want to on that collarbone. But imagine her feelings of not knowing who is safe to talk to, who can I talk to about this? Who would understand? Who, who will hold space for me without judging? Um, imagine her stress about wanting to find closure about these new feelings and these new questions and really not knowing where to turn about it. See how this woman retreats inward into a space of internal contemplation and additional study, and see how she’s learning things and like gathering this information and thinking differently, and you can kind of see inside her system, she’s reorganizing her entire worldview. You know, it’s like stacks of boxes got, got whacked away and now she’s got to gather up the ones that are good and put them where she wants them and she’s reorganizing her whole internal world. See her interacting with, uh, with people that are not going through this process and see how she’s initiating conversations or participating in conversations from a new mental space, and see how this new way of participating in conversations sometimes does not end the way that she wants. And sometimes people are judging, who, I felt that. Let’s take a deep breath and breathe on those big feelings of people are judging me for sharing what I have found. The terror of it, feeling that big stress about I have to be true to what I know. I can’t just show up and pretend I believe something I don’t believe anymore. I just, I can’t just show up and act like I’m not severely impacted by this new information. What am I supposed to do?
[30:14] Michelle: Oh, that’s huge. That’s huge, OK.
[30:18] Allie Duzett: It is huge. Everybody, let’s breathe, breathing that panic and stress. I’m just gonna tap on my face and that collarbone zone. You can do what’s called a crown pull where you kind of um dig in with your fingertips, not your fingernails and your We’re gonna just pull your, your scalp and we’re just drawing blood flow to the brain, which is going through um a lot of work right now because we’re using our brain to dig into some really serious big feelings that we’ve been carrying. Can this clear yet? Not yet.
[30:55] Michelle: Can we tap in a little bit? Can I add something to the imagery? Oh, wow, can we tap in a little bit to her fear of what this does to her and all of her communities? Her family, her marriage, her, um, ward and her church, her leadership? Can we tap into her feeling like she doesn’t know how she exactly fits in anymore and what the repercussions could be?
[31:21] Allie Duzett: Thank you. Yes. Let’s, let’s go ahead and tap. We’re gonna pull up all of those big fears, that big confusion, and the questions of how, how am I gonna fit in? How, how do I keep my community when I uh don’t feel like I quite match the community anymore. You know, how do I navigate these conversations in a way that honors my integrity and Honors the other people and where they’re at. How do I handle it when people are judging me and they don’t even understand. They never took one second to think about this with their brain cells, you know. Let’s pull up some judgment of us towards others that might not think the same as us. And pull up that big fear. Let’s hear that fear scream. We’re gonna imagine a scream of that fear and it’s frustration and worry that just is like, OK, just hear it in your mind. And when it’s done, just take a huge deep breath. And breathe it out with force. I always say, I wanna hear your breath through the screen, breathe it loud. Um, I feel like I can just hear this idea of like, I’m so afraid. I just, this isn’t what I asked for. I’m the good girl, I’m the good guy. I’m just trying to do what I think what I think is right, and now all of a sudden, what I think is right has taken me on a journey that I never anticipated. How do I do what is right? With people that also think they’re doing what is right and we’re not matching up anymore.
[33:09] Michelle: And my safe community now feels threatening, now feels insecure and threatening. Yes, OK.
[33:16] Allie Duzett: OK, let’s tap. Even though my community feels threatening. Let’s say it together, even though my community feels threatening,
[33:26] Michelle: even though my community feels threatening, are we supposed to repeat it or say it with you? That’s
[33:30] Allie Duzett: OK. Um, what if I could feel safe?
[33:34] Michelle: What if I could feel safe?
[33:37] Allie Duzett: What if I could feel safe again in my community?
[33:40] Michelle: What if I could feel safe again in my community.
[33:44] Allie Duzett: What if I could live in integrity and find peace in my community?
[33:50] Michelle: What if I could live in my integrity and feel peace in my community?
[33:55] Allie Duzett: Let’s go ahead and put your hand on your heart and just breathe in. And I like to put a little bit of pressure right there. It can help also to kind of like shake it out. We’re, we’re literally getting things moving. We are getting all of the fluids in our systems actually moving right now, and that is what we’re doing. How are you feeling? Do you feel like it shifted,
[34:21] Michelle: can I share an insight I had? Is that appropriate? I don’t want to interrupt, but oh my gosh, the most profound insight that um. That for me to feel safe in my community, I need to allow to allow others to feel safe around me. The reason I’m not feeling safe is because they’re feeling threatened by me. And so me being able to honor them and love them where they are and respect them where they are, will allow them to feel safer around me because, I mean, will allow me to feel safer around them because they’ll feel safer around me. Does that Resonate OK.
[34:59] Allie Duzett: Thank you. I have something about that like many slides later and yeah, that’s exactly right. I didn’t put it as eloquently as you did, but that is so true. When people feel threatened around us, they’re going to threaten us back. And it’s not even conscious, you know, we really can’t judge people for taking offense and feeling threatened by these new ideas that they didn’t ask to come into their space.
[35:22] Michelle: It’s no more wrong for them than it is for us, right? It’s just, there’s been a shift, and neither of us know how to negotiate, and that creates fear. Which then feels like a threat for both sides. And since we’re the ones that maybe are going on the, you know, that are going into the transition, hopefully coming closer to God, it can be our opportunity to try to heal that for both sides because we’re the ones that are having this healing right now. I love that.
[35:49] Allie Duzett: OK, exactly. I think the more that we are able to hold space for people with differing opinions without Without making them feel threatened, the more easily they’re gonna see the alternate point of view, you know? Mhm.
[36:06] Michelle: OK.
[36:07] Allie Duzett: I do feel like things shifted.
[36:10] Michelle: Do you feel that? Does everyone feel the tingles? I don’t know. I just feel like there’s, uh, these different feelings, tingles, and then this feeling on the back of my head and shoulders and neck and kind of sometimes just like a lift, like, all that weight is gone. That, that pressure is gone. Like. Yeah, I hope other people get to experience that sort of in a tangible physical sensation as well.
[36:34] Allie Duzett: Yes. Oh, I’m so glad. Thank you so much. OK, we’ll tune back in and finish up this, this little section. We’re gonna honor the parts of us that feel shaky and on uneven ground with this. We’re gonna honor any feelings of worthlessness that clear up that have come up from being exposed to this information. The feeling that our worth is in question. Imagine this woman, right? And imagine her really questioning her value as a woman, as a child of God. Does God even exist anymore? Uh, but if he does, do I even matter at all if you let me be lied to this way? Um, you’re questioning her worth as a human being, that’s worthy of being told the truth and having access to the truth. Let’s honor the heartache and insecurity, and I feel it like a churning right in this like chest space. Let’s let those big heartache and insecurity coming up like waves. And I, I often yawn while I’m doing this, but it’s not cause I’m tired, it’s cause of like the deep breaths that you need to like breathe out these big feelings. We’re gonna allow some anger to rise up inside of this woman and allow her to feel that huge anger for a minute. She just says, How could this happen to me? How could I have been misled in this way? How could I have experienced this experience? And see her just thrashing around and ripping up the curtains that she closed. They’re like hanging by threads and she’s ripping them up. She smashes a bunch of things she used to treasure, you know, these beautiful little items and objects and pictures and paintings that she used to treasure. And now they just remind her of stuff that she doesn’t believe in anymore. And she’s sitting there like, I, I can’t have this in my space. See her smash it. She’s taking the sledgehammer and she’s just smashing her space. The space that she used to love and feel safe in her safe space is gone. And we’re just gonna hold space for her to smash it to bits if that’s what she wants to. And the part of her that has felt like it wasn’t safe to feel angry, God, God would judge me if I felt angry, or my anger is so big that not even I can hold it. This moment right here in this recording is where I am saying, it is safe to feel that anger. God can handle our anger. If you don’t believe in God anymore. God’s cool with that, actually, in my opinion, God holds space for us not to believe in God. Um, if you don’t want God to hold your anger, you can hold your anger, and you are big enough to hold your anger. You can feel your anger. It is safe to feel that anger to its full and most extreme extent. And I love to feel anger in my mind this way. Let your mind go on a rampage and destroy everything, um, in a safe space. That is not your real life. Right? We’re gonna destroy the room in our minds, but we’re gonna imagine this huge anger and let’s go ahead and take 3 really good deep breaths as we imagine this anger, um, rampage on fast forward for 3 good deep breaths. Ready to say go. One 2. And 3, Honoring that huge anger. And when that anger has worked itself out, which you can pause this recording and be angry as long as you want, but when you’re ready. Um, see this woman just crying on the floor. See how she has she’s worked out all her anger. There’s all the broken pieces around her and she just cries on the floor. See her wrap herself up in the fetal position and just be vulnerable and just be sad. Just let her feel that huge sadness underneath all that anger. She’s carried huge betrayal and huge abandonment, misunderstandings, other people’s judgments, other people’s hatred, people intentionally misconstruing what she said to make her look bad. They’re speaking about her behind her back and she has a lot to be angry about. And now she can feel sad about it, and let’s let her be sad. And as you watch her being sat on this floor, just crying on the floor, see if you can imagine, almost like shadows peeling off of her body. Like she looks like a person, and then all of a sudden, a shadow just peels off her and just peel these feelings off of her like blankets. And we’re just gonna go and pile them up in the corner of the room for the angels to take those blankets away, those blankets of anger, betrayal, abandonment, judgment. She doesn’t need to carry them inside her body anymore. Imagine a light appearing around this woman on the floor. So it looks like she’s lying on the floor in a pool of light, like her carpet is all lit up. And see this light hold space for her big feelings. See how this light does not need her to change how she feels? This light is cool with how she feels. It says, be sad, be angry. You’re allowed to do that. You don’t have to change how you feel for me. But see how this light just creates an ultimately safe space for all of her feelings to flow up and flow into that light and be seen. She doesn’t have to feel ashamed of the anger. She doesn’t have to feel ashamed of, um, the bitterness, the resentment. She doesn’t have to feel ashamed of the big feelings that she has felt ever since she had to really reevaluate a worldview that she never thought she would have to think differently about. This light is creating a space for her, where it’s safe for her to feel how she feels, it’s safe for her to see her feelings, it is safe for her feelings to be seen. OK. When you’re ready, you can take a big deep breath. And we’re gonna do some tapping together. Um, typically with tapping scripts, you tap them like 3 or 4 times, um. I, but I feel like, let’s go through these just once and see how we feel as we do that. And if you need to pause this recording and go through each one over and over again, you are welcome to do that. But we’re gonna tap. It can be safe for me to honor my feelings of betrayal. It can be safe for me to honor my feelings of horror. It can be safe for me to honor myself as I navigate a faith transition. God holds space for my faith transition. I hold space for my own faith transition. It can be safe for my faith to change and grow as I change and grow. God loves truth over all, and it is possible to stay close to God as I stay close to truth, even if the search for truth takes me to unexpected places. Go ahead and put your hands on your heart. We’re gonna take a deep breath. Imagine the woman standing up from the pool of light, feeling more solid and more stable. See her go back into the room she destroyed in her anger. See her sew some new curtains that she likes better. And I, I imagine her singing while she sews, and she’s just happy. She just sews some new curtains and says, those old curtains did the job, that old room did a job, and it’s time for something new, and it can be beautiful and good. So see her sew her new curtains. She puts them up, see how she’s feeling safe again. She leaves the curtains open. When she feels like she wants to close them, she closes them. But her space is filled with light again. And she feels safe about it. See her clean up the broken knickknacks, see her fix the ones that she wants to fix. She can go back over the broken pieces and say, you know what? Um, that one that I broke, maybe I do want to keep it. And maybe I can put it back together in a different way that is gonna be better for me.
[44:21] Michelle: Um, can I add two things? Can I add two things? He curtains, she loves them so much better. She’s so much happier now with her new beautiful curtains because the old ones were a little bit old. Sorry, I had to add that in. And I think she’s also finding things that didn’t break, right? She’s picking things up and discovering this didn’t break as I was taking the sledgehammer, as the sledgehammer was going through everything.
[44:45] Allie Duzett: Thank you for that. Yes. Finding the things that didn’t break. That is so beautiful. Yes. Let’s see her go through the room and clean it up. Maybe some angels come and join her, and they are the ones sweeping up the broken stuff into the dustpan and taking out the trash. And the angels that can help her like find the unbroken things, find the broken things that get to be fixed now. And see her and her angels just put her room back together, and she is so much happier than she used to be. However safe she felt before, and she’s been so angry and stuck and she felt like she could never feel that safe again. She feels so much better now. It feels so safe to be here and it’s more beautiful, and it’s cleaner and everything in it now has a purpose. If she wasn’t surrounded by a bunch of junk that was there just because someone said it should be there, it’s there cause she wants it there, because she chose it. It’s so much more meaningful.
[45:39] Michelle: She’s not just safe because there’s not a threat, because she’s hidden from the threat. She’s safe because she is powerful and she is filled with joy and light, and she knows that she can handle whatever might come.
[45:53] Allie Duzett: Yes, I love it. Imagine her standing in the middle of the room with her arms wide open, and she’s smiling and feeling totally at peace in her space again. She had an adventure. She learned new things, she grew and she changed. She changed her space. She cleaned it up, she healed, she healed her space, and she can feel safe in her own space again. See her smile at you and breathe in that beautiful smile. And how do you feel?
[46:27] Michelle: So good. That was beautiful. That was really impactful. Yes, I hope everyone felt that as much as I did. Wow,
[46:38] Allie Duzett: thank you. Are you ready for another? This is the largest one, by the way.
[46:43] Michelle: Yes, and if people, um, I almost want to just pause and bask in like this excellent, amazing feeling right now. So if people want to do that and then come back to another one, that’s just fine too. We’ll continue now, but this is so powerful. I unders understand, I mean, I told you before, this is so much more impactful and effective than, uh, effective than a therapy session. It’s, it’s quite incredible to come at it this way.
[47:08] Allie Duzett: Yeah, no offense to therapy. I, I believe therapy is very good too, but also we have additional resources now, and I think we need to use these resources because time’s a ticking. OK. We’re gonna do some forgiveness work now, and this is a little bit of a doozy. This is definitely one that you’re gonna have to pause the recording of and work through on your own time because for some of us, it’s gonna take a lot of time, but we’re not gonna spend 10 hours on it. In this recording. But we’re gonna work on feelings of unforgiveness and betrayal from God, church, religions, prophets, men, Sunday school teachers, the people, you know, our friends, our family, um, spouse,
[47:49] Michelle: everything, yeah,
[47:50] Allie Duzett: spouse, for sure. And so before we go into the exercise, I’ll tell you the quick backstory, which is that some years ago, I was reading the book of Eno, and in the book of Eno, Eus goes out to pray and he receives forgiveness for his sins, and he says, Lord, how is it done? And when I read that, I thought, Lord, how is it done? Like how does forgiveness work? Because forgiveness feels so nebulous, it feels so like ethereal. It’s like, did I really forgive them? Like, I’m not really sure if I did, like, what is forgiveness? And I feel like I had a vision. And what I saw was unforgiveness, like a black tornado in a person’s space and it’s very turbulent. And when you forgive, the act of forgiveness removes that turbulence from your from the space of your physical body. Does that make sense? It’s a
[48:41] Michelle: healing. It’s a healing, right? Forgiveness is, it’s synonymous with healing in many ways. OK. Yeah.
[48:47] Allie Duzett: Yeah. And so what I do for this forgiveness exercise is we imagine our unforgiveness as these tornadoes, and then we’re gonna smash them up with a hammer just like in our imaginations into dust, and then we take a deep breath and blow the for the unforgiveness tornado out of our bodies and imagine it flying away to the sun. I imagine them turning into butterflies, going out to the sun. OK. So, let’s go ahead and do this um uh the, the fast forward way. But again, if you need to take it slow, take it slow. But let’s start by imagining our unforgiveness towards past church leaders that we believe were complicit in misleading people. If you need to do this one church leader at a time, that’s fine. If you can scoop them all up, what we’re gonna do is close your eyes. Imagine scanning your whole body from your head to your toes and gather up all of the turbulent energy, this black gunky energy that’s like, this is your fault, OK, this blaming this, how dare you? Energy, OK. That big unforgiveness and it’s gonna look like this big tornado, and as you grab little pieces from your elbow and your knee and your gut and your heart and you’re gonna plug it in this this tornado is gonna get bigger and bigger. Can you kind of imagine a tornado in your mind? Can you imagine smashing it into smaller bits? We do this so that when you take a deep breath, if it doesn’t all go in one breath, you can take it a couple of times. Instead of trying to breathe out a huge tornado, we breathe it in smaller breaths. When you’re ready, let’s go ahead and do 6 good powerful breaths and breathe this stuff out like you’re blowing out a birthday candle. Ready, set. 12. 3 4. 5. 6. That’s got me yawning. See if you can imagine light shining down and cleaning out where that tube of unforgiveness was, that tornado of unforgiveness. And can I ask, do you feel different after doing that exercise?
[51:04] Michelle: Um, uh, yeah, I felt, I felt it part of it blowing away with each breath, like, you know, so. Till the end.
[51:12] Allie Duzett: Yeah, very, very good. OK, we’re gonna, we’re gonna zip through these, but if, if anybody needs more time on one, then pause and do it. Let’s go ahead and gather up all of our unforgiveness towards current church leaders. Um, if you need again to do one at a time, that’s fine. Uh, leaders at the top, leaders at the local level, anywhere in between, let’s gather up those big turbulent feelings like this big tornado. And when it’s all gathered into one space, we’re gonna smash it up into dust. Let’s do 4 deep breaths to clear that out. When you, whenever you’re ready. 1. 2 3. And 4. And fill up with light where that unforgiveness was. And I’m feeling like a big flow has just opened up where things were kind of jammed up and stuck. We can let it flow. And one thing I wanna mention here while our systems recalibrate is that Forgiveness does not make what anybody did OK. All it does is makes it so that our bodies don’t have to be the record of it anymore. I think a lot of times our, we resist forgiving people because we’re like, if we forgive them, then it’s like they didn’t hurt me. It’s like what they did doesn’t matter. God keeps the record of everything that they did. Your body does not have to be that record anymore and your emotional space does not have to be that record, you know, we can trust that God is gonna handle it and we can choose into that space of forgiveness and flow.
[53:02] Michelle: Yes, I love, I love that you said that. It lessens the power that it has on us so that we are more capable of recognizing what happened, but not being controlled by it, not being damaged by it or held back by it, so that we can go forward in our full power, despite what may have happened that has been hard.
[53:19] Allie Duzett: Yes, well, and now that you mentioned it, it opens up a space, it’s hard for people to not feel threatened. When we hold a grudge of unforgiveness against them. Even if we don’t want to, even if it’s like not something we’re consciously engaging in, like, we all pick up on each other’s, you know, vibes or whatever, and, you know, we feel defensive around people who feel negatively towards us. And if we’re carrying a bunch of unforgiveness towards You know, different leaders and different people in our lives over any issue, any issue in the whole world, like, they are going to sense that and feel threatened by us and not want to cooperate and not wanna hear what we have to say because they’re gonna be more likely to take it all personally when it’s not always a personal thing. So,
[54:07] Michelle: yeah. And you know, I, I just resonate so much, not with this situation, especially, but with other situations of the feeling of feeling the need. To hold on to the wrong because of the feeling that if I don’t, then it’s saying the wrong is OK, right? That’s a really big challenge, and especially when wounds can be really deep. And it is, uh, it just right now I’m also having the insight that like, that is not the nature of God, right? God does not require us to do that, and God doesn’t even do that. God is perfectly cap like, and really, we’re seeing it from our perspective. We, you, you know, like we don’t have God’s perfect. Perspective. But yeah, if we want to be more like God, we are called upon to allow God to heal that in us and to not hold on to it, because it is, it’s, it’s not separating that person from God, it’s separating us from God, right? I, I, that’s, I mean, still, people might need to wait until they are ready to have that be healed, but those are some good insights to me from me that I’m having.
[55:08] Allie Duzett: Yeah, thank you, thank you so much. Let’s go ahead and pull up our unforgiveness towards family members who don’t get it. This is a huge one. spouse, siblings, parents, children. Um, let’s, if you have to
[55:24] Michelle: go with sisters, yeah, oh, you said siblings, yeah, yep,
[55:27] Allie Duzett: but, but however many you feel like you wanna work on in this moment, let’s grab them together. Oh In my mind, I feel like I’m hearing somebody be like, How dare you not get it? Like,
[55:45] Michelle: come on. Now, this is a big one. I’m feeling like this is a big one that like, all of those, but it’s hard on every level, but the closer people are to us and the more we expect from them and the more we demand from them, the harder it is to. The more, the more deep, the deeper the pain can be.
[56:06] Allie Duzett: That is so true. But you, uh, sorry, when you’re ready, let’s smash up those tornadoes, maybe just one. Maybe just one and come back to the rest. And when it is dust and feels ready to breathe out, let’s go ahead and breathe it out with a few deep breaths. Uh And in my mind, I’m just hearing like what if it is safe to forgive them? What if it’s safe to really find peace with them being where they’re at with them doing them again,
[56:45] Michelle: love them again without this barrier of yeah. Separation without our unforgiveness toward them that creates unforgiveness that in them toward us,
[56:55] Allie Duzett: yes. Yes, yeah, we get to start shifting the cycle cause we’re not gonna play into this game anymore. Then maybe they’ll keep playing it, but honestly, a lot of times when people do this forgiveness work, it’s like the thing just disappears, you know, I would not be surprised if a lot of people see big changes after doing this and other people, and we didn’t even, we didn’t make them forgive anybody, but like us changing ourselves opens up a space for other people to change too.
[57:22] Michelle: Yeah, cause it’s, it’s when we are healed, even the things that they say, they don’t, they don’t grab on. Like they’re throwing the hooks at us. You know, this is, I call it the Samuel Vuminite principle, right? Their arrows and their stones don’t, don’t have the power to affect us. And so then we could just keep loving and smiling and not engage, and that when that healing of us allows them to heal, right? It creates space for them to heal. If they want to. Or if they’re able to, and if they’re not, that’s OK because we’re healed, so it doesn’t affect us.
[57:56] Allie Duzett: That’s so true. Yes, I love that. I’m like, Lord, send us all those Samuel the Lamanite force fields, please, that let us speak our truth clearly and bravely without, um, allowing other people’s, you know, stuff to get stuck in our space. Um, let’s see. OK, we can all go back through and do the rest of these on our own time, our friends, the church as a structure, like the church as a, as a concept, you know, profits in general, individual profits. The last one I want to do right this second together is God in general over this issue.
[58:39] Michelle: Can I add one more? Um, Brigham Young, Hebrey Kimble, you know, for some people, Joseph Smith, whoever it is that you feel. Um, these feelings toward instead of allowing them to be the human that they are, who is loved by God, right? Like this would be a really good, um, Um, good process to go through for each of those so that we can talk and if people want to,
[59:05] Allie Duzett: we could do a whole video where we just do this and hold space for all of us to go through every last thing, you know, but there’s just a lot of them. So I thought,
[59:15] Michelle: right, so people can do it on their own,
[59:16] Allie Duzett: right? Yeah, but, but if we want to do it together, mention in the comments, maybe we’ll do that, maybe we’ll do it.
[59:23] Michelle: We could go through and read separate quotes and heal them, heal the reactions from those horrible things that were said or tell different stories of our ancestors and heal that pain because that is still there, you know. So,
[59:36] Allie Duzett: literally, yes, yes, that is true. And honestly, this is a beautiful thing to imagine, to imagine your ancestors that were personally. Impacted. Like, go in your mind and imagine sitting with them and feeling their unforgiveness tornadoes towards these different profits, these different people, these different players in their lives. And kind of imagine doing this exercise with them and feel that unforgiveness, like flow away from them. You will feel it in your own body, which I know sounds so weird, but it is true. And That is another way that you can use this. Do
[1:00:09] Michelle: you know what? I don’t wanna upset anybody, but like, what a beautiful type of proxy work. Right? If we do proxy work in other ways, this is a beautiful way to do that, to, like we’ve said, we, um, connect, you know, the hearts of the fathers turn to the children, the hearts of the children turn to the fathers. This is a beautiful way to do that for and with our ancestors that connects us with them and heals us all together and attaches us in beautiful ways that are sort of symbolic of, of other work that we do in the gospel.
[1:00:40] Allie Duzett: Yes, thank you so much for mentioning that. That is totally true. Let’s go ahead and imagine our unforgiveness towards God about this exact issue. And I understand many of us have many unforgivenesses towards God for a lot of issues, and I’m here to say you are. qualified to feel those ways, and God does not hold your unforgiveness against you. All of us are filled with unforgiveness towards God about all sorts of stuff. If you think that you don’t, you probably do, and you are possibly lying to yourself because that’s just how humans are. We blame God for things that show up in our lives that we don’t understand and that we don’t like. Um, but you can go and do this exercise, uh, as many times as you want. Can you hear the train in the background? Uh-huh. Just a little boy, OK, OK. You can, you can do this exercise for your unforgiveness towards God about anything, but today, let’s pull it up over um God’s role in allowing uh this whole polygamy issue to happen in the first place, to take root in our church the way that it did, to lead to the kinds of situations that we find ourselves in today where um You know, probably a lot of us are wishing that there was more transparency and more honesty and more openness to um Alternative ways of looking at different situations, you know, let’s go ahead and pull up more,
[1:02:08] Michelle: um more um openness to women’s voices, more visibility of women, women not being minimized and in in some ways that still seem to continue.
[1:02:18] Allie Duzett: Very good point. Yes. Let us pull that up. This unforgiveness towards God uh around these specific issues, and you can go and forgive God about everything else later. Let’s pull up these big unforgivenesses now, um. And one thing that’s coming into my mind is, as I’m pulling these up is This thought that. A lot of the things that we hold God responsible for. are based in a misunderstanding of God, that’s just, I mean, like, I don’t know, let’s pray about that for our own selves, but that is the thing that I just, I heard it really clearly in my mind. Uh, it’s almost like God is sitting there like, You know, you’re really, you’re really feeling upset at me for these things that really were not my idea and it’s not how I am, you know what I mean?
[1:03:13] Michelle: I’ve said that often. We have to stop blaming God for the mistakes of man, right? So maybe part of what we’re doing in this one as well is letting go of that false view of God and letting that blown away so that we can open that perfect conduit. To the love of God as God truly is and us as we truly are, without the misunderstandings and false ideas getting in the way.
[1:03:37] Allie Duzett: I love that. Let’s go ahead and smash our unforgiveness into that dust and breathe it out. And as we’re breathing this out, let’s imagine God really just ripping off this weird hat above our heads. That’s like our own idea of what God is. It’s like, we look up and see God, but we see him through this weirdo hat
[1:03:58] Michelle: lenses. Yes.
[1:04:02] Allie Duzett: And God’s like, let me just take that for you. Like, what if you could get to know me as I actually am and not as you were told that I was and not as you thought that I was, but what if you could just be open to seeing me as I really am and just let my love wash through you as it really is, which is truly unconditional. I mean, like, yes, keep the commandments. I mean, like, you know, yes, do good choices and stuff like that. But I don’t know,
[1:04:29] Michelle: but God’s love is perfect and overwhelming and complete and unaffected by our actions or our weaknesses. God’s love is what heals our weaknesses and our sins. That this one is huge for me for some reason. That’s like, yeah, like I’m feeling that on behalf of everyone that that I’m hoping will come to this podcast and become members of the audience. Yeah, aside from those who already are.
[1:04:54] Allie Duzett: Yes. Can we just allow ourselves to be fully loved by God? Can we hold space for an idea that other people are fully loved like by God like this, even if they do that weird thing or this weird thing, they’re up to that shenanigan, they’re doing that choice. What if God’s love for us is something that is bigger than we ever imagined and better than we ever supposed, and what if God is holding space for all of us on all of our faith journeys, and he’s cool with it. You know, I, I, if I may just rant for a moment, I really have a true testimony that God is cool with our faith journeys, you know, like, I feel like my is in a good place, but like if it wasn’t, God would still be cool with that. I don’t think God God is sitting there saying like you have to believe in me all the time. You have to believe in this church, you have to believe in that church. I don’t think that God’s sitting there. I think God is is saying. All of us can have our own journey, and that’s fine. And like in our religion, if we do believe in the millennium, how many of us think that people at year 990 of watching everybody on the earth getting tutored by Jesus personally are still gonna like, you know. we have time and, and the truth is going to come out the way that it’s going to come out. And none of us needs to judge each other’s journeys. And I don’t think God is sitting there saying like, you have to agree with me or like with this church at this time. I think that there’s time for us all to just experience our experience on our own timeline, you know.
[1:06:36] Michelle: Yeah. Our faith journeys are, um, the point, right? That’s the point. God, they’re not only OK, they’re beautiful and profound and important and essential to our growth. And, and that’s my only plea is, hold on to God, hold on to love, right? Seek healing, seek truth as we go through these transitions with, that’s what faith actually is, is trusting that God’s got us, that everything’s gonna work out, even when it’s so messy and complicated and feels so, um, you know, confusing and. just keep trusting God is, is, is the plea that I have, because then we have God and the angels to help us reconstruct, to help us find that more sure footing and that more beautiful perspective. Yeah. And, and I, I love this being filled with the love of God. I, I have learned from my own experiences that When we are filled with the love of God, then that love reflects out on every other person, right? And that is how we love, that is what charity is. That’s how we love other people. It’s not because they are necessarily lovable. It’s because the love of God is greater than anything and it fills us with love so much that we cannot help but love our fellow men, because love, God’s love is so great.
[1:08:01] Allie Duzett: that so much. I love that so much. It’s true. God holds space for all of our journeys, and it’s OK if you don’t believe in God right now, that’s OK. It’s OK too. Like I’m here to say that’s fine. You don’t have to believe in God today. That’s fine. You can be mad at him today, and that’s fine, and you have time. You really have time. Let’s go ahead and imagine a person who looks so, so sad. And imagine how this person shows you, they kind of like open up their heart. They’re like a robot person and inside they have this heart, and this heart is totally broken. Little springs are sticking out, little gears are sticking out. It’s like, it was smashed like somebody just took a hammer and and their heart went oh. And all these pieces of their little broken heart are in there. And this person is just so sad, they almost feel empty and broken, and they just say, I gave my whole heart. And my heart was smashed. Feel the big feelings of sorrow and despair and horror, desperation, regret, confusion, huge waves of sadness coming up from this person. Under their sadness, feel the anger, the betrayal, those feelings of, I gave you so much, and what I got in return was a smash to the heart. Everything that I thought was stable was a lie. And let’s go ahead and tap, and I have the tapping scripts on the Screen? I honor any injury my heart has experienced over this. I honor the injuries to my spiritual heart. Maybe it could be safe for me to be open to a new heart. Could it be safe for me to accept a new healed heart? Could I allow myself to feel safe to heal? Put your hand on your heart and breathe in. We’re gonna allow some fear to show up that just says, I feel really afraid to heal my heart. If I heal my heart, maybe it will get broken again. I never want to trust something so much and love it so much, only to have it turn around and smash me again. I don’t want to heal if that’s something that’s gonna happen to me again. At least if I’m broken. Um, at least if I stay broken, then there’s not really a chance of it getting worse. At least if I stay broken, I, there’s no chance I’m gonna forget what happens when you trust something 100% and then get smashed. Let’s go ahead and imagine a tube of light shining down on the person with the broken heart, and this light contains information on how to have a healed heart. And remember the past at the same time, how to be healed and hold space for the past in the same moment. It says, our heartbreaks are not there to last forever. We do not have to hold on to them to prove that we learned something from them. We do not have to hold on to them to prove anything. It can be safe to feel the full extent of our heartbreak and learn the lesson of that heartbreak and heal. We can heal and feel peace again, and that does not detract from the reality of the depth of our experience. See this person asking. Well, What is the lesson of this heartbreak then? The light says the lesson is that faith belongs in God, in God above everything else. The lesson is to take everything that we learn to God for clarity. The lesson is not that we are called to believe anything blindly, just because a human being said to. The lesson is that we can connect to the divine for ourselves and receive personal revelation for ourselves on what is true. And what we need to know for this step of our journey. We do not need to carry the old heartbreak forever. We can experience peace and honor our own journeys, as we remember that our relationship with God personally overrides anything else. Go ahead and breathe it in. And imagine that light lifting up the broken heart, that little wiry heart that springs in its gears, and I imagine it like Beauty and the Beast at the very end when the beast turns into a man. And see this light healing the heart. See how the gears and the wires, maybe they don’t even get put back together. Maybe it’s a whole new heart. And see how these different shiny pieces come together and reconnect and fit back exactly how they are supposed to. See this heart light up so gold and shiny. See it installed back into the person. Clicking into place, feel how that robot. The person reconnects and it feels lit up, and all of its systems light up in a new way that even before, even before its heart was smashed, it was not lit up like this. But now it has accepted this new heart from its creator, and now it can be lit up all the way through. See how this new heart feels more connected than ever, both to itself and to God at the same time. I can be true to myself and I can be true to God at the same time. It can be safe to live with a healed heart. God does give new hearts to those who desire them. Let’s go ahead and breathe that in. Oh We’ll see that person kind of smiling and feeling hope again for the first time in a long time. And see them stand up and they’re ready to do the next thing they need to do. How are you feeling?
[1:13:53] Michelle: Oh, they have a whole new glow. They have a whole new golden light in their eyes that was not there before. They’ve leveled up into the next, the next level that this heart is empowering them to be able to do. That, that is the journey we are on. That is what we are doing. Yes, we can bring a whole new degree of love and connection to the divine, to our lives, to those around us, to everything that we do and everything that we touch in every way that God touches us. We’ve been given a new and we are, we are new instruments in the hands of the Lord and much more empowered, effective ones because of this journey. And this healing.
[1:14:38] Allie Duzett: Thank you so much.
[1:14:41] Michelle: I love this so much, Ali. It’s beautiful.
[1:14:44] Allie Duzett: Thank you. This is a good one. It might be a doozy. It’s a guy with a loudspeaker. OK. Imagine a guy on a crate. He’s standing on a big box at the intersection. He’s got a loudspeaker and he is yelling at everyone. He really wants everybody to see his way of seeing things, and he is saying, wake up, everybody, wake up. Come on, you sheeple, get it together. Read the stuff, do the research. Open your eyes. He wants them all to see they have been lied to. Wake up now. But see how the people on the street do not like this, and see how some people are feeling really angry and upset and they’ll go up and pick a fight, and they’ll be like. You want to talk about this? I won’t talk about this, and they get up in the face of the guy with the loudspeaker. Um, see how a bunch of other people are, you know, they’re like, don’t, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you, and they’re like,
[1:15:37] Michelle: crossing the street to get away.
[1:15:40] Allie Duzett: Yeah, they’re, they’re like running away. They’re like, please do not make me listen to this right now. Um, they just don’t wanna. They don’t want to think differently. I mean, like there, I’m remembering this one time I went to Disneyland of all places and there was a guy on the street corner, a preacher telling us we were all going to hell, and I was just like, come on, like, come on. I just want to go to Disneyland, so like imagine all these people, they’re like please I just want to go to Disneyland. Do I have to think about this right now? Can you please just like let me go to Disneyland, please? Um, see the person with the layout, the loudspeaker feeling really upset and they’re like, come on, why don’t these idiots get it? Like, I’m trying to save them. Why don’t they wake up and realize what’s what? Why are these people fighting with me? They’re like having this conversation and they, they don’t even know what they’re talking about. They’re talking, they’re using resources that are debunked. They’re using, they’re using things that they haven’t read all the way. What is this? I see the loudspeaker guy um feeling so upset about the people that are like looking away. They don’t wanna see it. And this last speaker guy like, OK, what is wrong with people? This does not even make sense. Why don’t they want to wake up? Everyone should want to wake up. Everyone should want the truth, they should want it right now. And like, look at my sacrifice. I’m on the I’m on the loudspeaker. It doesn’t make sense. Let’s go ahead and pull up the frustration and the anger. And the urge to make the loudspeaker even louder. I just want to turn it up and no one will escape from me. And let’s imagine a tube of light shining down on loudspeaker guy, and it’s our creator, and what does our creator say? Let’s imagine this light having a message for loudspeaker guy and your particular um message may, I mean, this is gonna be very unique for each of us. But there’s one message that I felt like writing down here, and it said, my child, thank you so much for doing your best to do what you feel is right. I feel so thankful that you feel so strongly you want to wake everyone up. Remember that everyone is on a different timeline, and we all have different life purposes and life missions and things to accomplish here. And it is OK to feel peace about other people experiencing truth in a different way than you do. It’s OK to feel calm about it when other people choose to fight or choose to disengage. It’s OK to allow people to experience their own experience. Sometimes it’s time for a loudspeaker, and sometimes it’s time to put the loudspeaker down. See the loudspeaker guy, look at his loudspeaker, and ask for divine clarity on how and what to do with the information that he knows. You know, he’s sitting there like, should I still be on my loudspeaker? Should I, am I supposed to be on a loudspeaker in bed next to my spouse? Am I, should I be on my loudspeaker? Like, where, OK, if I, what are my different tools available? Um, how am I supposed to moderate my communication in different situations? He’s saying like, OK, maybe I can communicate. Um, in, in different ways, in different times. So let’s zoom out from this one loudspeaker guy and see that there’s an army of loudspeaker guys. There are so many different loudspeaker guys, and they are all doing different things and see how one loudspeaker guy is on the street corner, one loudspeaker guy is following all of his family members around with the loudspeaker, and they’re like, please, oh my gosh, can I just go to the bathroom? Like, you have stand outside my bathroom with this loudspeaker. And they’re like, please, come on. Um, see, see people loudspeaking here, loudspeaking there, and see how all of the army pauses with their loudspeakers, and they say, oh. What if, what if I turned to my creator for more custom and specific advice on how to use my personal loudspeaker for the best effect? And I’m hearing this message of the pearls before swine and the concept that not everyone is ready for all the information that we want to share with them, and there’s a time and a place. And sometimes it is wise to put the loudspeaker down and trust that God wants His people awake too, and he’s going to wake them up on their own timeline. And sometimes we do need the loudspeaker, and it’s our job to be on the loudspeaker, like this channel obviously has the calling to be the loudspeaker, please be the loudspeaker, you know, um. And sometimes we need to realize we don’t have to personally wake up everyone. Can we find peace in in handling our personal loudspeakers in a way that allows um Every situation to unfold the way it is supposed to unfold. I don’t mean to imply that we should never make people uncomfortable. I don’t mean to imply that it’s never our job to present information that people don’t want to hear in a time that they don’t want to hear it cause sometimes we have to. But Allowing all the labs you guys to connect for personal custom guidance.
[1:20:26] Michelle: Yeah, can I, can I adjust this analogy just a little bit?
[1:20:31] Allie Duzett: Yeah.
[1:20:31] Michelle: Can I, this is what I saw. This is what I visualized. Can I allow that loudspeaker guy to trade in his loudspeaker for a violin? And he’s now playing his violin, and it’s more, and some people are too busy and are walking past some people, but he’s playing it in a way that those who are drawn to it will come. And as we zoom out, we see the entire orchestra of people playing their instruments. And, and we are just playing our instruments and those who will resonate with the music we are playing will be drawn to it and those who won’t have our permission to walk past. Can we do it that way?
[1:21:15] Allie Duzett: Yes, that is so beautiful. Yes. Let’s see those are loudspeaker guys realizing they don’t need a loudspeaker anymore. They don’t need to chase people at the grocery store with a loudspeaker. They can stand on the corner with a violin.
[1:21:28] Michelle: With their violin or their or their flute or their timpani or whatever, whatever, or their keyboard, whatever it might be. And we are following the inspiration of the music that God is having us play. We are using the skill, we are training the skill to become true artists and musicians and inspiration and letting that music fill the world with the spirit of truth, the spirit of God, as inspired. And, and it’s creating more unity, more police, more unity, beauty. It is elevating the vibration of the world rather than causing cacophony. Even, even when there are fortissimo parts in the score, right, when it’s really loud, it is resonating in a gorgeous way and God’s the conductor. That’s what we can.
[1:22:18] Allie Duzett: Thank you so much. That’s so much more beautiful. Yes, and still gets the point across. It’s still, yes, can we all be a vessel for God’s music? Can we stand there and allow ourselves to create this divine music in a beautiful way, Feel peace about it when people decide that classical music is not their jam, you know? It’s
[1:22:43] Michelle: OK to weep. It’s OK to weep when there’s someone we love that we want them to appreciate our music. But we don’t necessarily play louder, maybe we play softer or in a more delicate way, right? And we and we patiently wait for those who want to hear it.
[1:22:58] Allie Duzett: Yes, thank you so much. I love that so much. Oh This was the next slide I had. That sometimes we do have to, let’s say sometimes we do have to play our music really loud. Sometimes God is like, crescendo, please, and pick up the tempo, buddy. And sometimes we have to do it and sometimes the people around are like, oh man, I don’t want to hear that. Bring in
[1:23:25] Michelle: the tuba, bring in the tubas,
[1:23:27] Allie Duzett: right? Yes, bring them in, buddy. Um, the important thing is connecting with our Creator and making sure that we’re guided in all the ways that we are communicating. We need to make sure that our desire to wake everybody up is because we love everybody and not because we’re disgusted by how they’re ignoring things, not because we’re angry, not because we’re afraid that if they don’t wake up, they’re gonna keep being snookered by the bad guys or something. Um, we need to make sure that we’re coming, uh, I love it. Now that I, like you were saying, that inspiration of the music, the love and inspiration. Um, we just know that we’re following the spirit and the spirit is putting me here and having me say this. I can say this out of love and feel total peace about if you reject it or, or believe it. Because my motivation is not to change you, and it’s not to fix you, and it’s not to tell you you’re wrong, and it’s not cause I’m mad at you or afraid of you, or disgusted by your ignorance. My desire is just to be true to myself and be true to my God and create A melody that I’m proud of.
[1:24:42] Michelle: Yes, yes. I’ve heard the music and I’ve resonated with the music, and I want to contribute to the music, so I’m playing it because it, because it’s so true and joyful to me, and I have hope that people will resonate with it, but I am at peace allowing each person to decide when and how much to engage. That doesn’t mean I have to stop playing if, you know, in the way that I feel inspired to.
[1:25:07] Allie Duzett: Yeah, let’s go ahead and imagine the whole orchestra, people putting down their loudspeakers. Some people still are connected. I’m like, I’m seeing some people they’re like, no, I still need a loudspeaker. That’s OK. If you can get a
[1:25:18] Michelle: trumpet, right? We can
[1:25:19] Allie Duzett: have
[1:25:19] Michelle: a
[1:25:19] Allie Duzett: trumpet, guys. See them all picking up their unique instruments and feeling peace about playing them. And realizing that sometimes you got to play loud, sometimes you have an extended rest. Sometimes in the orchestra, the trumpet doesn’t play for 500 measures, and that’s OK. And then they come out and blast, and that’s fine and we can all participate. Yeah, in the vision
[1:25:42] Michelle: sometimes they learn to use their mute and create new sounds that they didn’t know that they would make that create more. Um, levels of how they can contribute.
[1:25:52] Allie Duzett: Yes. I love it. I think symbolic imagery is just so powerful. You know, like just seeing things in a new way with a new analogy. This is like all of Jesus’ parables. We think about these stories, and it gives us a new framework that we can use to understand the world around us and change our own behavior if necessary, cause we’re seeing with a new framework. So thank you so much for that. Um,
[1:26:19] Michelle: I was trying to think what my instrument is, and for some reason the xylophone is coming to mind. So I think I’m playing a xylophone sonata.
[1:26:25] Allie Duzett: I love it. I love it. Uh, let’s imagine a huge blast of light illuminating our entire orchestra. This light is just gonna wash out the bitterness, resentment, anger, all of those dark motivations that we had for trying to wake people up. And
[1:26:46] Michelle: it just made me of the flat notes or sharp notes or right, but it’s all in tune. OK. I’m taking it too far, but it just works for me.
[1:26:55] Allie Duzett: No, it’s perfect. That’s exactly how this stuff works. Let’s, let’s help, have this light help us tune all the instruments. We’re breathing in a sense of peace as we pick up our instruments, feeling so much lighter and better than we have. Knowing that we all have exactly the right amount of time, it’s safe for us to allow other people to be on their own journey. They’re allowed to walk past the orchestra, and God still has a plan for them and that’s fine. No one has to listen to every song that we create. Um, Imagine this loudspeaker army, now an orchestra that just feels so calm and happy and they feel so free. Whereas before they felt like they had to, I mean, very few people want to pick up the loudspeaker. Like, did you want to pick up the loudspeaker? Did you wake up and you’re like, I want to take off 10,000 people today. Like, nobody wants that. Um. See them all just feeling like, oh, I don’t have to. I can just play
[1:27:53] Michelle: my favorite music, right? I
[1:27:54] Allie Duzett: just need to play my music,
[1:27:55] Michelle: yeah,
[1:27:56] Allie Duzett: and feel that sense of like, oh, what a relief. I can just show up and make something beautiful and let the chips fall where they may.
[1:28:05] Michelle: Mhm. I love it. And can we visualize also is that, like, I do want to visualize more and more people loving the music and picking up their own instruments and this music spreading because, you know, like just visualize that and put that out into the world to allow it to continue to happen.
[1:28:23] Allie Duzett: That’s a beautiful image. Yeah, I imagine new people hearing and I’m just seeing them, like their ears are like, oh, perking up. They’re like, Oh, I hear something in the distance. What could it be? What is this?
[1:28:34] Michelle: I thought that was bad, but maybe it’s not.
[1:28:37] Allie Duzett: Maybe this isn’t what I thought it was. And maybe I can think about it in a new way. Maybe it’s safe to just hear this non-threatening music. Um,
[1:28:46] Michelle: maybe I, I used to think it was a guy with a loudspeaker, but now I’m hearing something different, right?
[1:28:51] Allie Duzett: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in like a super big city. Um, I used to live in Washington DC. That’s where I’m from, and, um, I worked, I worked at the EPA actually for a while. I was an intern, so don’t be, I’m not that fancy, but I was an intern there for a whole summer and um there were always, I mean there’s crazy people on there that do stand there and yell at you. There’s like, I think clinically insane homeless preachers that are like. You know, whatever, and um and occasionally there are incredible musicians that you do just want to stay and listen to and like what if we can transform that metro environment from like sounding like the the homeless guy. You know, wagging our fingers at people, and what if we can be that incredible majestic musician who’s donating an hour of their life to practice in the metro to make the world a better place, and people say, oh my gosh, what a relief. I, I never expected something so beautiful on the metro.
[1:29:51] Michelle: Yes, yes. OK, I love it.
[1:29:56] Allie Duzett: OK, I think this is, uh, we’re getting towards the end of this segment. Um, this is a quick image for people who have had to seriously question their testimony. Imagine a person seriously questioning their testimony. I see them pulling out a piece of paper where they had their testimony written, and they’re like, uh, well, um, this is not, I don’t feel the same as I did before, and they’re looking at this piece of paper and feeling like, Ah, they feel this panic, they feel almost dead inside. They’re like, oh my gosh, everything that I thought I knew, I don’t, I can’t say I know this anymore. I’m feeling stuck, I feel lost, I feel lied to. And we’re going to pause with our guy with his paper and imagine a ship. And the ship was previously anchored, um, Except that now the anchor is cut. And I kind of see this person almost like they are holding their own machete, but it’s like their hand cut their hand has taken on a life of its own, and like they’re cutting their own anchor loose, but it’s like, it feels out of their control and they’re like, oh my gosh, OK, my anchor’s gone now. OK, but like I had to do it, but like, and it didn’t even feel like my choice and like there it is, the anchor’s gone. And now what do I do? My ship is just kind of like bopping about, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but then here comes the storm and like, oh no, how am I gonna handle the storm? My anchor is gone. It’s not just that I don’t, I’m not anchored right now, it’s that I cannot anchor cause my anchor is gone. How what am I supposed to do? This is like very unsafe and it feels very like turbulent and it’s like, oh my.
[1:31:29] Michelle: Mhm. Where will I end up? Am I going to be overturned? Am I going to capsize, right?
[1:31:34] Allie Duzett: All of that. Yeah. And how am I even going to survive without a functional anchor? But what do I do when I need an anchor and I actually don’t even have one at all. Let’s imagine some angels showing up on the ship, and I see them dressed up like sailors of light, like they’re dressed and their sailor clothes, but like it’s made out of light. And see how they make a brand new anchor made out of light. And see how this anchor does not anchor to the earth. They’re saying this anchor is special. You had an anchor before that it functioned like a normal anchor would, but this is a special anchor. This anchor does not connect to the earth, it connects to the heavens. See how this anchor connects straight to God, and it feels secure and strong there. So instead of an anchor that goes down into the depths of the ocean, see this anchor connect up to the heavens. And when it connects, it makes us contact with our Creator and the whole thing lights up even brighter, and it lights up the ship too. And even when the waves are rocking and the boat is like flailing about, it’s really not. It has that secure anchor upwards that is even more secure than the anchor was that went down. And hear that voice saying, even though your old anchor is gone, it can be safe to have a new anchor that links you to God directly. You can feel a sense of anchoredness even as you experience the open water in a different way than you ever have before. And see that boat feel peaceful and calm, and breathe in that peace.
[1:33:20] Michelle: I loved that one so much. That visualization resonated so deeply with me every single step along the way, the insecurity and then the new anchor that is, I just see God’s hand holding it, right? Like that’s, that’s how it resonated with me and the security of that. That was, that one was amazing to me. OK, I loved it. I love that.
[1:33:44] Allie Duzett: Let’s see our person with their paper and seeing how their old testimony written out, you know. See how they kind of run through a journey. It didn’t resonate. They’ve gone through this journey, now they pull it out again, and they can see kind of like in the other image. They can see now, you know, I could keep this line. I could keep this little sentence fragment. I could keep this, I could keep that. Maybe I need to scrap the rest or maybe I need to rewrite it. But see how instead of feeling like the shock and horror and dismay of like, I have to trash this. This is not me anymore. They are feeling this calm sense of, um, it’s safe for me to re-evaluate. I can write a new testimony. I can have a new testimony that is still a strong testimony. It’s gonna be flavored with a different flavor. It’s gonna have a different nuance to it. It’s gonna be informed with these different concepts that my old one was not, but I can still stay close to God and I can still feel anchored in a different way than I used to be.
[1:34:45] Michelle: Well, yes, I think the Old Testament, the old anchor was anchored to the ground, which provided security, but also limited motion. Right? It kept you stationary of where you were. This new anchor that is so profound and even more stable, but allows God to take you to vistas you never had imagined before. So I’m actually eager to write the new testimony. I see the lack and the old, I see like the Growth that I have made since that Old Tesimony. I’m so grateful for that growth. And I’m excited to have God inspire me to write a new testimony that will resonate with me on this new level. That is the aspirational level I’ve now I, um, been elevated to.
[1:35:31] Allie Duzett: Yes. Yeah, I love
[1:35:32] Michelle: it.
[1:35:34] Allie Duzett: This was the final one for this segment, and this is where I was just gonna Check in with you and see if there’s anything else you feel like we need to address in this zone of that God betrayal, church betrayal. Again, there’s a whole lot of things we can do as far as like individual forgiveness for every individual going through quote by quote and like doing our forgiveness work, but
[1:35:57] Michelle: It can I, can we somehow shore up connection between our spouse, right? Like, our spouse, our children, our, and I’m kind of resonating out with that, our community. But, and I know that there are many people who aren’t married or, but as we’ve gone on this journey, our core relationships, our relationship to our ourselves, our relationship to God and our relationship to our spouse if we have one, and to the other people very close to us. Maybe I’m putting you on the spot, but I’m just feeling like, like we’ve healed so much. I’d love to kind of wrap it up and end with connection somehow.
[1:36:33] Allie Duzett: Yeah, well, we talked about doing this again. Maybe we should do a whole session just on that kind of thing, but in this moment. OK, here’s the thing that I am like that’s coming into my own mind. Which is not always the the best thing everybody wants to hear, but what I’m hearing is the word humility.
[1:36:54] Michelle: Oh, yes. OK.
[1:36:56] Allie Duzett: And let’s, I mean, if we’re all open to it, let’s go ahead and imagine God sending down this tube of light in whatever color it is, straight to our hearts that’s gonna give us the humility. That we need to hold space for our spouses where they are. You know, we can’t change our spouses and the way that they see this situation or the way that they see us even. Like, we, we’re not the boss of how they see the world. What we are the boss of is how we show up in their space. Can we show up in their space from a place of humility, proactive forgiveness, a space of, you know, I have my opinions, but maybe I am wrong. Um, you know, I have these things I believe in, and maybe I can also, um, See your side of your point of view from a space of grace as well. You know, can I feel peace about you feeling your feelings about this? And Well, you know, without it meaning I have to give up what I believe, you know, can I, can I show up? You know, my, my own husband um does not. I know he does he like doesn’t get what I do. He’s like not into it. Um, I never do this kind of stuff with him. He, he would like not have that, you know, um. I don’t know, and a lot of people um whose spouses, you know, we, my husband and I do not see eye to eye about a lot of things, but it really does not impact our relationship in a very big way because, I mean, I, and I think that’s because both of us realized that All this stuff is like small potatoes, like even though it feels like big potatoes sometimes, like, do we love each other, you know, like, can that be the big potato here, you know, um, had a dream two weeks ago where he dreamed that um I can’t even remember the whole context, but the, the short version is that there was this really big disaster and and he just looked at me in his dream and said the only thing that matters is that I have you and you’re the most important thing in my life, you know? And like, can we operate from that space of saying like, you can disagree with me about literally everything, and I will still love you, and I will still like be willing to hear your side of things, even if it upsets me, like, I will take my deep breaths and confer with God and like hold space for you where you are. The way I wish that you would for me, and maybe someday you will. And I, I fully know that as I have been in that mature space of heart, like my husband has transitioned into that mature space of heart because it was not always as easy as it is now. But when one person decides, like, I will be the hum humility person, I’ll be the humble one. I will be the one filled with grace. I will be the one I will choose humility. Yeah, yeah, I will be that one. Like one person choosing that allows the whole dynamic to shift, you know.
[1:39:55] Michelle: I love that. And I’m wanting to also add like that that light coming down. Can we also let that shine onto our spouse, our one spouse, to show us how precious they are? We have our one spouse and they are precious because they are ours. They’re both gods and they’re ours, and what an incredible gift. And no matter the challenges, no matter anything, they are so precious to us, and let our hearts turn toward them in all humility and in all love and in all acceptance, so that we can like have our hearts knit together in unity and love. Let us, the two of us become one. In every way that matters.
[1:40:41] Allie Duzett: Yes, thank you for that. Yes. One thing that I that I work with, so I feel like You know, we are ourselves, our spouses are their own person, like we don’t mess with their person, you know what I mean? Um, but we also have a shared energy that is our marriage. Energy if you could call it that, like a shared space, like dedicated molecules of and atoms that are like our shared space
[1:41:12] Michelle: this thing we’re creating together just like we create our children together, something new that didn’t exist before. That’s our relationship.
[1:41:18] Allie Duzett: Yeah, exactly like this relationship, if you think of it as a thing, so like in doctrine and Covenants, I think 130, I think verse 8 could be wrong, but um It says that all all spirit is matter, and if you have eyes to see it, you can see it. All spirit is matter. Your relationship has matter. Like every relationship, every friendship, every marriage, there is matter to it. It has a structure. It has a form that you cannot see with your visible with your naked human eye, but maybe your spirit could see it. And if you go into your imagination and imagine that shared space, the matter of the relationship. Um, I think just using these like visualization techniques to work with that can be really powerful because you can go in and see, you know, this place is covered in cobwebs. It’s like dark and gunky. Like there’s old junk here that does not belong here. And you kind of go in and you wash that stuff out and you fill it with light and you can just ask God like, OK, God, You know, show me a symbolic image of my relationship and show me how I can clean out whatever I can. Like whatever’s in my jurisdiction to clean out and heal up, show me how to do it, and you just go in your mind and you just imagine it, you know, that’s I mean, that is, that is what the essence of like visions are, you know, there’s a great scripture in the doctrine and covenants, um. That I will not remember off the top of my head. But if you Google up doctrine and covenants and imagination of his heart, there’s this great scripture where this man is given the spiritual gift. He has the gifts of healing. He has the gifts to like cast out evil spirits, and he has the gift to rise up in the imagination of his heart as on eagle’s wings. OK? Which I love. That’s what we’re doing. We are Rising up in the imagination of our hearts as an eagle’s wings to operate and alter the structure of the matter of our relationships in a responsible way that honors everybody’s agency. We can just say, did I, did I put this dent in the wall? Can we clean up that dent? Like, was I the one that like left this trash on the floor of my relationship? Can I like pick it up now? And we take responsibility and clean it up, you know.
[1:43:35] Michelle: I, OK, that’s, that’s beautiful. I found your scripture if you want me to read it. Yeah. It’s, um, Doctor Covenants 12499, and he shall be led in paths where the poisonous ser serpent cannot lay hold upon his heel, and he shall mount up in the imagination of his thoughts as upon eagle’s wings. And oh, and it goes on. And what if I will that he should raise the dead, let him not withhold his voice. We can do all things. This is saying we can do all things in Jesus Christ, right? In the power of God.
[1:44:06] Allie Duzett: And it’s a, it’s a really powerful blessing, the whole thing, um, because that starts like.
[1:44:12] Michelle: So we can take this visualization, this, um, imagery healing that you’ve taught us, only, you know, we’ve, we’ve, we’ve learned from example from you and we can implement this in different aspects of our life, like going through and and imagining a scenario that gives full sway to every pain that we feel in a scenario. And then finding the and and then visualizing that while we’re tapping and breathing and drinking and doing all the things you’ve shown us today, right? We can at least experiment with it and play with it and see what happens. Yes,
[1:44:43] Allie Duzett: I hope everybody does play with it and see what happens. This is what I do when I can’t sleep, you know, I’m like, OK, we better just like work with a symbolic image and clear out some junk, you know. And you just feel the big feelings. If they’re too big, I put them on fast forward. I’m like, God, let’s push the fast forward button on that. And I like see myself feeling the big feelings really fast for a long time. And then we clear it out and we do our deep breaths, and we imagine the solution and imagine what it feels like to really embody that solution. Yeah, everybody is qualified to do this for, I mean, like, go, go play with it. Go experiment and see for yourself how you can shift your life really fast, faster than you ever thought.
[1:45:22] Michelle: It’s amazing. I mean, you know what, when we’re tucking our kids in at night, when something really hard happened that day, we can, this can be our visualization that we give them to go to sleep. What a beautiful gift that would, that is for them, right? Let me ask you one question. I know I’ve put you on the spot a couple of times and I really appreciate you, um, letting me go, like, like letting me participate in this, in this journey in these visualizations. But when we are in that moment of first. Receiving the terrible news, the um cortisol adrenaline overload of of the unimaginable, that like we’re shaking, we can’t breathe, we, what, what are the tools we use in that moment?
[1:46:09] Allie Duzett: That is a great, great question. And, OK, the, the number one thing that I always do is I imagine a tube of pink light. It, it probably doesn’t have to be pink, but that’s what I see. Um, is pink light around myself, and I imagine the news, like, the trauma of it fizzles out in the tube, and then I can hear the words, but the big emotional part of it. Has been fizzled away by my protection. It’s like God’s divine light, and it’s a tube from my feet down to the center of the earth, and it goes from the center of the earth all the way up to God. And I like through outer space and it’s like nothing, all of that stuff is gonna like fizzle out and I try to, you know, keep that going all the time, but especially when I know that something traumatic is about to happen or or I like suddenly hear it. I’m like, oh, like shields up and you can just say that like shields up, you know, and just like imagine this light around you fizzling it out. Um, tapping is really helpful in my normal life. My kids can verify if they’re doing those like stressful things, you know, they’re like, they’re doing some dangerous nonsense and I’m like, oh my gosh, I’m like. You know, I sit there and tap and I like take my deep breaths. Um, and that can be very helpful. There’s a thing called a spinal flush where you literally, if you just trace this line, you kind of gotta, you know, move your hand around, trace it all the way down your spine down to your, to the end of your spine, all the way down to the very end. You do that a few times, and, um, you are gonna feel different. You, it just kind of like flushes that spinal column.
[1:47:48] Michelle: I can feel that. That’s OK. That moves stuff. OK. Yeah,
[1:47:52] Allie Duzett: it moves stuff. Um, so that’s really good. One thing that I do believe in though is that when we do have an acute trauma, a lot of times, um, I mean, man, if we get into like the real science of it, um, so all these traumas create like the physical chemicals of emotion, right? They’re creating that adrenaline like you talked about the cortisol like that is what is happening. We are feeling these big feelings because of these actual chemicals and when your body is still in chemical creation mode, you know, it’s still is like I have to keep making more cortisol right now cause this was horrible, um. It is not always so easy to get it to stop immediately. And I personally don’t try. I am a big believer that the body is wise and so when those big things happen like for myself, for my family, uh, for my clients, like I just tell people like, sorry. Like, you know, have your tube, like, do your spinal flushes, like do your tapping, take your deep breaths, and also it’s OK to feel upset for a little while cause your body is producing all these hormones, and that’s important and it’s part of like, we’re here to get a body so that we can experience these different chemicals. Um, the problem is when they get stuck forever. That’s what we worked on today. We cleared out some stuff that was stuck forever. We cleared it out, um, but new stuff comes up and we, we feel it and we let it go. And if we go into those experiences really accepting, like, it’s OK for me to be upset. It’s OK for me to like feel my heart race and it’s OK for me to let it go and pass through me. Um, then we will still feel it, but it passes out a lot quicker. Like, I don’t view any of those feelings as the enemy. I feel like we feel those big stresses and panics for a really good reason. It’s our body trying to tell us something something wrong happened. You have to take this seriously. If we can say Bo, I hear you. I’m gonna take this seriously. You know, I don’t have to let this keep me awake for the next 12 days, you know, like, it can be safe for me to sleep through the night. Bo, I promise, I’m gonna, I’m gonna take this seriously. I’m gonna handle this appropriately. And we train ourselves to kind of come at it from that space. We just cut the time that our bodies need to spend.
[1:50:13] Michelle: And then also really, really. Focusing on that anchor that God has, right, just knowing like, like, OK, I’m just gonna breathe and accept. That this is, this is happening, this is how my body and my spirit are taking this in right now. I’m not always going to feel this way because God’s got me, and no matter what this is. It’s gonna be OK. There is healing. There is purpose, there is peace, and no matter how tragic. OK. Like, those are, those are good tools. Thank you. I just, I guess that’s something I think about because just, um, you know, this wasn’t the end of the world, but just recently when I read the email, got the news that I had been deplatformed from the conference I was supposed to go to, that was nothing like other traumas I’ve experienced, but it still sent me, like, like I just You know, the that overload of what this means and um and so I, I was just breathing, but I would love to have done this, and, you know. I would love to have some tools just to. Kind of, um, help me get regulated a little more quickly than you know, but I, but you’re right, there’s no avoiding the hard things in life.
[1:51:28] Allie Duzett: So, you know, the more belief work that we do, so we did a bunch of belief work. That was all that tapping where we, we let go of all beliefs that like everybody has to agree with me right now and we put in like, it’s OK for me to love everyone where they are on their journey. The more we do that kind of belief work for everybody, I mean, like for all sorts of different situations, the easier it is when things show up because things stop being so traumatic, you know, like, like if you had all of these belief programs and that like, it’s OK for people to reject me. It’s, it’s safe for me to be de-platformed, you know. You, you proactively teach your brain to think that way, and then when you are deplatformed, you know, it’s not great. But it’s also, you know, you don’t have the same kind of body response. When you change how your how your thoughts are functioning. Remember that all of your body’s functions are originating in like the brain, the gut brain axis really, but like the brain’s function has so much to do with it and our beliefs um really impact how our bodies respond. And as a quick example, I’m sorry, I know we both have to go. But as a very quick example of it, um, you know, if you go into this world feeling like Everybody hates you and the world is stacked against you and somebody cuts you off in traffic. If you’re the one sticking up your middle finger and like screaming and like, ah, you’re having a hormone response as a result of a belief that you have. If you change your belief and and tell yourself a new belief, like I used to have terrible road rage and I decided this is not productive. I’m gonna put myself into a new space and I just tapped in like, people have to get where they’re going. It’s OK for people to cut me off and like I can trust that they are doing the best that they can. And so now when people cut me off, my default thought is I’m sure there’s a woman in the backseat who’s giving birth right now. And I know it’s probably true, but Ely’s like, uh, they, they have an emergency, you know, and I feel calm. You know, like, it’s the same situation, but how you handle it is different based on the default settings that you set, but you can choose your default settings, and that’s like the really empowering thing is. Just because you have a default setting of rotor age does not mean that has to color your whole life. You can take responsibility for it, change how you think about it, and you’re going to change your entire hormone profile when you find yourself in those particulars.
[1:53:45] Michelle: That’s encouraging. So yeah, because, because my default setting now after, um, you know, a couple of years of really hard things, my default set. is everything God does is good. Like that’s where I, that’s where I live. That’s how I view the world. So it feels a little, um, like, uh, I feel like it let me down. Do you know what I mean? Like I still had the cortisol overload. I still had the, um, like I knew in my brain, I was saying, there’s a purpose. Everything God does is good. This is, but I still had to suffer the, um, Emotions and I guess maybe that’s just how it goes, and I, and I’m guessing that it lasted a lot shorter time than it would have if I didn’t have that default setting because I was able to You know, regulate, make the phone calls and go put in, put in the action that I needed to, to deal with the situation rather than being paralyzed by the trauma of it for very long. So maybe it is working. Maybe it’s OK.
[1:54:37] Allie Duzett: I would bet that it is working. And also we all have 10 bazillion default settings, and I really feel like that’s part of our life and probably a lot of what we’ll do in the millennium is like parse through our brains and chuck out any tiny little thing that’s not in alignment with God and reality. But we, you may have like a tiny belief in there that’s like, this, this like speaking at this conference is really important for my credibility. You know. Oh, I had,
[1:55:02] Michelle: well, well, the things that we’re fighting against that everything God does is good is I just barely announced it. I just said what a huge step this is for our community, for I, I just use this as the example of how we can start to gain acceptance by the people who don’t agree with us. And I, you know what I mean? And, and also, um, those horrible people just won. How is that possible? How could you let this happen, God, right? How could you let. Them when when what they’re doing is so despicable and so untrue and you know, those were the things that we’re fighting. So I’m sure there are false groups in all of them, but sometimes it’s also like just hard.
[1:55:41] Allie Duzett: Yeah, it’s always valid, you know. Yeah.
[1:55:45] Michelle: So anyway, but it’s good to know that we can set those new beliefs and we have some tools. Things can still be hard, but we can just keep working, working through it and having trust and And anyway, I, Ali, this has been really profound and amazing. I hope that our conversation at the end didn’t minimize the beautiful healing journeys that I think you took us all on. And so
[1:56:10] Allie Duzett: thank you. Well, we have a lot more, but not for today. So we’ll have to get together at a different time.
[1:56:15] Michelle: OK, yeah, well, well, everyone please let us know in the comments. I, if you’re available to, um, look at or answer comments that people might have of how to get in touch with you or any other information, if that works for you. And then, um, yeah, let us know how this resonated with you. I really am curious to know how, um, what people think of this if this is something that we would like more of. So because I think, I think this is a beautiful part of the 132 solutions that we are seeking. So thank you so much. Yeah, and we will see you next time. Another tremendous thank you to Ally for giving us her time and for the beautiful talents and skills that she has developed and is willing to share with us. I am very eager to hear if people would like to continue with some other, um, episodes along these lines. I, I find them to actually be extremely effective and helpful and I’m thankful to be able to add this to the arsenal of tools that we are bringing to bear on this topic. So thank you so much for joining us and I will see you next time.
