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A very personal episode. Our unique baptismal covenants are more important, inspired, and specific than I ever knew. They deserve our focus. As we come to better understand them and their inspired order, we can learn to better implement them and fulfill the covenants we make as disciples of Christ. (A sidetrack from our usual topic — next week we’ll get back to polygamy.)

Scriptures

Mosiah 18: 5-10

Links

Elder Anderson @ 3:45

Summary

In this episode, Michelle Stone takes a break from her usual discussions on Mormon polygamy to focus on a deeply personal and theological topic: baptismal covenants in the LDS Church. She explores the uniqueness of Mosiah 18 in LDS scripture, highlighting its emphasis on bearing one another’s burdens, mourning with those that mourn, and comforting those in need of comfort. Drawing from her personal experiences with grief, she discusses how these baptismal covenants are often understood but not fully implemented in LDS culture.

Key Themes:

  1. The Uniqueness of LDS Baptismal Covenants
    • Unlike many LDS doctrines that have biblical parallels, the baptismal covenants in Mosiah 18 are unique to Mormon scripture.
    • These covenants include bearing burdens, mourning with others, offering comfort, and standing as a witness of Christ—ideas not explicitly found in the Bible or other Christian traditions.
    • Stone suggests that these commitments are as unique to LDS teachings as polygamy, yet they are often overlooked.
  2. Personal Tragedy and Spiritual Lessons
    • Stone shares her personal experiences with grief, having lost two daughters in recent years.
    • She reflects on how well-meaning but misguided attempts at comfort often fail to truly help those who are grieving.
    • Through her own mourning process, she realized the importance of following baptismal covenants in the correct order—bearing burdens first, mourning second, and only offering comfort when truly needed.
  3. Misunderstandings About Comforting the Grieving
    • Stone emphasizes that most people instinctively try to offer comfort first, but this is not always appropriate.
    • Many common phrases such as “They’re in a better place” or “You’ll be reunited with them” often feel dismissive rather than supportive.
    • True support comes from listening, sitting in grief with someone, and showing up in meaningful ways.
  4. The Sacrament and the Concept of Renewing Covenants
    • Stone challenges the widespread LDS belief that the sacrament renews baptismal covenants, noting that this phrase is not found in scripture.
    • She quotes Elder Neil L. Andersen, who acknowledges that while the phrase is commonly used, it is not doctrinally established.
    • This raises questions about how LDS members interpret and internalize sacred ordinances.
  5. Faith, Love, and the Role of Christ
    • Stone highlights how standing as a witness of Christ means embodying His love rather than acting as a moral enforcer.
    • True discipleship is about allowing others to witness God through our actions, rather than focusing on calling others to repentance.
    • She contrasts this with how many LDS members equate testimony-bearing with correction, rather than an expression of love.
  6. Final Reflections and Looking Forward
    • Stone expresses a desire for LDS members to improve their approach to grief and support based on the principles taught in Mosiah 18.
    • She acknowledges the painful but transformative nature of personal loss and the role of divine love in healing.
    • While this episode diverges from polygamy, she sees it as deeply relevant to LDS faith and community dynamics.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to 132 problems where we usually explore the scriptural and theological case for plural marriage. Today we are going to set aside our regular topic and instead discuss our beautiful and unique baptismal covenants. My name is Michelle Stone. Thank you for joining us as we take a deep dive into this centrally important part of our restored gospel. I have many favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon, but some of my favorites, one that’s high on the list is definitely Mosiah 18, where Alma by the Waters of Mormon is explaining the baptismal covenants to the people. Um, my husband and I have so far prepared 9 children for baptism, helped 9 children prepare for baptism, and this has always been my main focus, have been these scriptures. So I’ve become pretty familiar with them, and they are some that I just love. But um it actually wasn’t until this last couple of years that, um, I, in particular, and my family went through some really difficult tragedies that I realized how important these scriptures are and sort of how Underutilized they are. And, um, and then it wasn’t until I started feeling kind of impressed to focus on this for this episode, on these scriptures for this episode that I learned how incredibly unique they are to our scriptures and our religion. And so, um, so usually we discuss polygamy, which is something that is quite unique to Mormonism, but this is something else that is unique to Mormonism, are these scriptures. I was astonished to find that. There are no phrases in any way similar to these anywhere else in the scriptures. They’re not in the Bible anywhere and they’re not in any other religion or Christian Christendom, so they are unique to us and they are ours, and yet I feel that we have not. Understood and implemented them like we maybe can or um or could if we understood them better. So I want to share some of the Hard won lessons that I felt I have learned through some of my experiences. So I’m going to start reading, um, well, first, as a refresher, so you’ll remember if you’re familiar with these, that Benna I was fearlessly teaching the people of King Noah and um kept coming back to the city and finally he was brought before the king and his priests, and he just fearlessly testified and And only one person believed him. It was a young priest named Alma who believed on his words and appealed to the king and the other priests to believe him and to not kill him. And so they cast Alma out and sent their guards to kill him. So Alma had to flee for his life and stay in hiding. And as A Bennada continued preaching and was burned to death, Alma was in hiding, writing all of the words that A Benada had taught to them. And then Alma went around secretly teaching the people, um, hiding from King Noah, cause he would put them to death as well. And so we catch up with him as we’ll start in verse 5 of Mosiah 18. Now there was in Mormon a fountain of pure water, and Alma resorted thither, and there being there being near the water, a thicket of small trees where he did hide himself in the daytime from the searches of the king, and it came to pass that as many as believed him went thither to hear his words. And it came to pass after many days there were a goodly number gathered together at the place of Mormon to hear the words of Alma. Yeah, all were gathered together that believed on his word, to hear him. And he did teach them and did preach unto

[00:03:40] them repentance and redemption and faith on the Lord. So this is all building up to the baptism. The first things that he is teaching are repentance, redemption, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ. Then verse 8, and it came to pass that he said unto them, Behold, here are the waters. Mormon, and now as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God and to be called His people and are willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light, yeah and are willing to mourn with those that are that mourn, yeah and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things. And in all places that ye may be in even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life. Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord as a witness before Him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve Him and keep His commandments, that he may pour out His Spirit more abundantly upon you. OK, so. Digging into these scriptures, I had no idea that it was for me. Specifically bearing one another’s burdens, with mourning with those that mourn comfort comforting those that stand in the discomfort and standing standing as a witness of God, those are such core elements of my understanding of my baptismal covenants that I was not, I was just astonished to learn that those are specific to the Book of Mormon and to what we consider our gospel, our restored gospel. And so in a way, It just made me think that we as members of the church should be, should be just so good at walking through, walking through grief with people. And it wasn’t until, um, you know, we all have times in our life where we experience grief. Um, it wasn’t until this last year where I had some especially difficult periods of grief that I learned that in many ways, we aren’t very good at it. And, um, And sadly, it had to be my own grief that taught me that. I wish I could have learned that earlier so that I could have shown up better for other people in their grief. Um, but those are, these are some of the things that I want to share because I feel like they are as unique to Mormonism as polygamy is, but so incredibly profound and deep. And these are the kinds of things that my testimony in the Book of Mormon is based in because of the brilliant way that the Lord unfolds them. Through through the spirit. And so things that I had never caught before, I began to see. So I want to focus mainly, although all of these parts, all of these things are different. Only here, only in the Book of Mormon we, are we taught about coming into the folds of God. Those are word those words are all unique to the scripture and take the name of Christ upon us. That’s all unique to the Book of Mormon and the doctrine and covenant. So those are things that we can talk about. But, um, I want to focus here primarily on the things that we witness we are willing to do when we are baptized, namely, bearing one another’s burdens, mourning with those that mourn, and comforting those that stand in need of comfort. And, um, I, I feel, as I’ve,

[00:07:03] as I’ve been doing some searching to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, cause I always overprepare for these. I spend way too much time on them. But, um, but I was I was amazed that I couldn’t think of a conference talk that focused primarily on these things. So I went ahead and searched for conference talks or other, you know, other resources and When you search keeping our covenants or our baptismal covenants, the main thing I always find is, um, in reference to the sacrament because we refer to the sacrament as renewing our baptismal covenant. So that got me curious, and I started to wonder where that idea came from. And I, and I searched everywhere in the scriptures and nowhere in the scriptures does it talk about renewing our baptismal covenants, which made me really start thinking about that concept. I did find, so Elder Anderson. Um, in a, oh, it was a special training meeting that I’ll find in a link in the description, but this is a quote that he said. He said, The title Renewing our baptismal Covenants is not found in the scriptures. That was good that I read that because I hadn’t found it, so it was a good confirmation. He said, it’s not inappropriate. He’s used it, the others have used it, but it is not something that is used in the scriptures, and it can’t be the keynote of what we say about the sacrament. And he was focusing in this, in this portion mainly about teaching about the sacrament, and I agree with him that that can’t be the keynote of the sacrament, but it also, I believe, can’t be the keynote of our baptismal covenants because what it seems to me has happened is that we have enmeshed our baptismal covenants with the sacrament, and so we’ve lost a lot of the, the uniqueness of our baptismal covenants, especially what we’re taught in Moiah Mosiah 18. And so I, so I want to talk about these things in the hope that, um, the things that were so difficult for me to learn that I can, I can share with you and hopefully they’ll be useful for all of us. So, the first thing I noticed as, so I, I don’t want to go into, um, personal details, so forgive me, but I think it’s important for the, um, for this to make sense. So in the last two years, ah, see. Um I have lost two daughters. My first little girl named Aly passed away. On May 20, 2020, and it was in that time that I learned so many things as I was grappling with that. My little Avon Lee passed away on July 22nd of 2021. So, um, so it’s been a little bit of a tough year, but the hand of the Lord has been in it. I’ve come to know the powerful, um. Spirit of the Lord in comfort like I had had not experienced it before in my life, so I just wanted to share so I can explain kind of what I experienced when my first little girl passed away. It was a strange time in the world.

[00:09:59] The church had got inactive and so we were, we were on our own and um. And it was interesting to experience, um, the different ways that the people who did show up, how they tried to help. And I, I understand. Please don’t think I am in any way being attempting to be critical or, or any, um, anything like that. It was good for me to be on this side of it, so that I could learn better how to be on the other side of it. And that’s what I want to share. I think that often when we see something that feels unimaginable to us or that just deep grief that other people experience, we so, so, so want to take it away, right? We want to take the pain away. We want to make it better. So we jump in. And um say things that we hope will be helpful, but that are not helpful. Um, we, we say, aren’t you so thankful to know. You know, to know that they’ll still be yours, or don’t you have a wonderful reunion waiting for you? Or, oh, isn’t it wonderful that they’re in heaven and you don’t have to worry about them, or whatever it is that we say that we are, what we, what I have come to believe is that we are trying to minimize the discomfort of grief, right? And so there were some people who just kind of had this spiritual gift of, um, knowing how to show up that really those people are just magical, and those are the people I want, I want to be more like. So, so, um, it was one day as I was experiencing this and experiencing the different things that people would say that were meant to be comforting and helpful, but we’re not. That I, that I again read these particular scriptures and I realized. The brilliance of them that they are put in a particular order that matters and that is very important and that’s, that’s what I want to share. They um they build on one another and they are sort of linked to Our closeness or our intimacy with the person going through the situation. So it is important for us as people who are, are members, uh, who, who have experienced baptism, who have taken the name of Christ upon us, who are Christians and are striving to be His disciples, that we don’t just look away from pain, right? We are called upon to do our best to do what the Savior would do. In whatever capacity we have. So when, when we all of those around us, everyone is experiencing pain, everybody’s life is hard, right? Everybody is experiencing grief. We may know it, we may not know it. What we do know is how is why we so desperately need the spirit to guide these actions. And so the first thing that we promise that we are willing to do. Or witness that we are willing to do is to bear one another’s burdens, and I realized that is the first step and the one that all of us can do.

[00:13:05] All of us can bear one another’s burdens, hopefully inspired by the spirit because we can’t run faster than we have. Strength that we need to know where the Lord needs us and wants us every day. So, ideally, you know, every day of our lives, we dedicate to God, use me today, help me to know what you want me to do that today to, to help you, to be an instrument in your hands. So, As we see someone experiencing something difficult, the first thing we can do that we can all do is to seek to bear a burden, is to bear their burden with them. How can we just lift in some way the burden that they are carrying? That can be something that we as members of the church, especially women, are really good at. We can deliver a meal, right? That’s something that we can do. We can, um, You know, shovel a sidewalk. That’s something we do. But whatever it is, the physical bearing burdens is getting in there with our service, with our hands, and helping others who need our help, hopefully inspired by the Lord, because also when it’s inspired by the Lord, when you have the impression to do something to serve somebody to lift a burden. It serves you as well when it comes from God. When it’s something that I feel like I have to do or that I, you know, sometimes if it’s adding to my burden and making me feel weighed down, it’s usually not inspired by God the same way. So ideally, it works for all of us together. When I have an impression of some service to do for somebody else, it blesses me at least as much as it blesses them. So, so ideally, we are All of this is directed by the Lord, which is why we all need to know the voice of the Lord and be and, and, and recognize those spiritual promptings, right? So the first thing we do is bear one another’s burdens, and we can all do that and we step in it and it doesn’t even require talking, right? It’s just what we do to help the situation. So that’s the first, the first step, and that’s the first level as well. The next one is that we mourn with those that mourn. And, um, that’s interesting because that’s different. I think in our hearts we can do that. We can, you know, obviously pray for people and feel just have our empathy ignited as we see things that people are struggling with. But, um, when we are dealing with people, mourning with those that mourn, I have learned really means listening. Sitting with people who are going through hard things who are grieving and just listening to them. Just Listening, holding them, hugging them, putting your arm around them. And listening and um

[00:15:54] and not. Doing much more than that, right, just trying, listening to try to really understand because. An important part of grief is sharing it, right? That’s another way. And in, in mourning with those that mourn, we are also bearing their burden, but not everybody can do that. It’s really hard when you are in the middle of deep grief to have someone just say, how are you doing? You know, I, and even that question can be so difficult because. Cause you’re not doing well. But that’s a strange thing to say, and they don’t necessarily have time or, or the closeness to sit and really hear how you’re doing, right? So even that question can be difficult. Um, a better thing, I think to say is just, I am praying for you. I love you. You know, just that, rather than even ask you a question. And so it’s better to just offer like, Like I can’t imagine, but I want you to know that I’m thinking about you and praying for you. That’s a beautiful thing to say. And probably from my perspective, a better thing to say then how are you doing? To someone who is really going through something difficult. Maybe when, you know, if you do actually have time and you feel invited in and led by the spirit, then ask, how are you doing, you know, cause, um, having to say fine isn’t very helpful when you are really experiencing loss and pain. And so anyway, I, I, I hope that I’m explaining this well, but bear one another’s burdens, then mourn with those that mourn. And we don’t. We only do it where we’re called, right? So, so when you feel inspired to bear one another’s burdens, you don’t need to know that person. You don’t need to have a relationship with them. You don’t even need to interact with them unless you feel inspired to. You can just do that. To mourn with those that one requires a, a closer level of intimacy. And it doesn’t have to be, um, it, it, it, you just have to be willing to offer a closer, closer level of intimacy and see how that will be met. I had Um, some friends, one friend in particular who we had just been kind of distant friends. We were moms together, you know, and, um, but she lost, she had lost a little girl a little while before I lost my little girl, and she really reached out to me and really showed up and that going through that together really cemented our friendship in a beautiful way. And so, So just, it’s so important for us to be in tune to the spirit, to know where the Lord can use us

[00:18:35] and to bless somebody and to help us fulfill our baptismal covenants. And so this one for me was the most important. The third step. Is comfort those that stand in need of comfort. And this was the thing that I really became aware of is that we often want to jump to that, right? That’s how we want to show up. We want to show up and offer comfort. And I realized, that’s, that’s the thing that made me realize how profoundly inspired these different steps are, because You don’t jump in and offer comfort. Please don’t do that. Please don’t ever do that. It doesn’t offer comfort. Um, so. First of all, it says comfort those who stand in need of comfort. You don’t know. I don’t know who stands in need of comfort, especially the comfort that I can give, the comfort that I can offer. We all need to be comforted by the Lord at all times. But, um, oh, forgive my band-aid. I cut my finger, so I just realized my band-aid is showing. But, um, When you jump in with words of comfort, you are out of order and you are doing it wrong. I’m sorry, I hate talking in the second person when any of us do that, cause I’m sure that I have done that as well. So, um, when people would say things where they, where they weren’t at that level of intimacy with me, they didn’t know if I needed comfort in that moment, and they didn’t know if they were the one to offer me comfort. It’s the opposite of comfort. And what it feels more like is that grief is so difficult that it’s hard even to witness. So we kind of want to whitewash over it and say, it’s not really sad. It’s not really that sad. See, you really be like, look at all the things to be happy about. You don’t need to be sad. And that’s a really hard thing. To it when when you experience that, it does not feel like love. It does not feel like keeping our baptismal covenants. And so a lot of people reached out in ways that I really appreciated, but when there were statements of, Isn’t it wonderful? or aren’t you so thankful? or, you know, it just was premature and out of order and not maybe coming from the right source. Um, To comfort someone who stands in need of comfort requires a deep level of intimacy. Sometimes I needed my husband to hold me to comfort me. He was the only one who could do that. You know, my sweet mom who walked walked through this with me, could comfort me in ways, um, that others couldn’t. But saying something to bring comfort doesn’t bring comfort. Even President Hinckley, I can’t, I couldn’t find which talk it was, but I remember. After his sweet wife Marjorie passed away and he was grieving, and he said something in conference about people are telling me all of the, all of the things, but it doesn’t really help, you know, it just, I thought back about that again. It, it doesn’t really help. And,

[00:21:42] um, and so anyway, I was experiencing this that made me realize how brilliant it is that we really take our baptismal covenants seriously. And strive to understand them and implement them in the correct order because we, these are our baptismal covenants. They are unique to us. We should be so good at this. We should be so good at bearing burdens and mourning with those that mourn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort and Sadly, I feel like in many ways we’re not as good at it as we could be and as we should be, especially with our unique, our unique covenants that we make and our unique scriptures. And so that’s the main thing that I feel like I learned is that I need to seek to be inspired by the Lord at all times and in all things and in all places, we’ll get to that one. And so that the Lord can use me first to bear burdens. I can always jump in bear burdens, and only when I feel inspired or called on or a level of closeness, um. Can I mourn with those that more in a in a way that involves them, right? I, um. My dear friend who walked me through these experiences and really saved my life, quite literally, um. She would just sit with me. She is a blessed, beautiful, gifted listener who I have learned so much from, and um it was. I love you, Kara Anyways, and then the next level of comforting those who stand in need of comfort. Absolutely, if you feel inspired to say something as you’re, as you’re mourning with someone or listening to them, share it, absolutely. But please, I think we need to get away from the habit of jumping in with the things to be glad about, the things that are comfort, that should be a comfort when somebody is grieving. And realize that that comes 3rd. And there are only certain people that you are in a position to offer comfort to, and that is why we have the savior. So we can always pray for people. I mean, how often we pray for people to be surrounded by angels, to be comforted in their grief, and writing a card absolutely sending everything. And just letting people know that you are there and that you see and that you witness and, and, you know, I, I don’t want to make everyone scared, more scared. It’s already hard enough because you don’t know what to say. But, um, I guess what I’m feeling is, as members of the church with these unique promises, we have, we should be able to learn a little bit better how to show up and to know what to say. And one of the things I would say is Don’t jump in prematurely. Don’t put these baptismal covenants out of order. Go in order cause they matter. And then the fourth thing that comes after those is that we stand as a witness of Christ at all times and in all things and in all places. And that’s another one that I think, um, that I think we sometimes misunderstand, at least in my, my opinion. To stand as a witness of God means to stand as someone who has witnessed God, who has experienced God, right? And it also means to allow other people to witness God because they know us,

[00:25:06] to do our best to do just the simple thing. What would Jesus do, right? And if we really come to, if we really think about our experiences with God in our life, very rarely. Does the savior stand up to call us to repentance. Very rarely are my experiences with the Lord of a rebuking nature. That hardly ever happens, almost always. I feel the love of God. And then maybe some instruction that I’m empowered to be able to follow, but it starts with love. So if we want to stand as a witness of God, often. Often people will call us to repentance or let us know where we’re wrong or where our ideas are bad or whatever it is, and, and consider that standing as a witness of Christ, which is really quite the opposite, right? So when we stand as a witness of Christ, we stand as a testimony of the love of God that exudes from us. We stand as a witness of that love that has been active in our life, as we talked about with Leah. We love him because he first loved us. When we are filled with the love. Of God, then that reflects out on our fellow man. And that is how we stand as a witness of Christ. We do our best to dwell in that love and to spread that love abroad everywhere we go. It’s about charity, right? Charity, the only thing that never faileth standing as a witness of Christ is being filled with the love of Christ. I have come to believe. And we, our job is to love people. The Lord’s job is to teach people. If we do a good enough job of loving people, then their hearts can be opened to being taught by God. It’s very rarely our job to correct people or call them to repentance or let them know the ways that they’re wrong. That’s not how the Savior teaches me. I have been taught so many things and So many things that I thought I knew that I’d been taught were wrong. I that the Lord has walked me through, and it has never come with a wagging finger or a rebuke or a place of pride or a I’m right, you are wrong. It has been a gentle, loving, um, opening, understanding, enlightenment, sudden burst of of intelligence, right? And those come the best when we are filled with love and so. Anyway, these, these baptismal covenants, I think deserve their own focus, their own episode, and I’m sorry to go away from our normal topic. I hope this episode isn’t too strange. But the reason I think it’s so important is because while this might be a somewhat difficult Cult subject of our normal podcast about polygamy and something that’s unique to our religion that I happen to believe the scriptures testify and the spirit testifies that we got wrong. There are so many things that also testify. Of God’s presence in in this book and in this gospel, and this is one of those. So I hope that, um, I hope this hasn’t been confusing or unclear, but really I hope that we as a people can give more focus to these unique, unique scriptures in Mosiah 18 and specifically what I’ve been talking about, um,

[00:28:24] verses 8 and 9, where we Witness to the Lord that we are willing to bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those that mourn, and comfort. Only those that stand in need of comfort and only when we are the one to offer that comfort and when we, we are called upon by the Lord to do that. And if we will put those things in order, I think we can become much more effective disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ and much more effective at standing as a witness of Christ. Our goal is that people can come to understand and know the Lord a little bit better because they know us. That might sound like a really Arrogant thing to say. I don’t mean it that way. I just, my goal is to somehow learn to stand as a witness of Christ in that way so that people’s hearts can crack open to feel the love of God if hopefully they can feel my love in whatever way I can do that. So anyway, I hope that that became clear, but that is my, that is my plea to us as a people, is to focus more on these specific scriptures and to put them in order. And and recognize we do need the spirit of the Lord to guide these efforts because it’s challenging and it’s hard and For those who are listening who are experiencing grief of their own, I want you to know. I will share my testimony of the Lord’s ability and willingness. To take shattered hearts and put them back together in beautiful and profound ways, and I also, I also just want to testify of the goodness and the love of God even as we go through extremely difficult things. I, there are, I have, I have friends that are atheists and I always loved delving into the debates and discussions about the existence of God and some of the Some of the things that many people um. I guess some of the evidence for atheism that many people see as the problem of pain and the problem of evil and um those are things that I. I have taken to the Lord and received some really profound answers on. So hopefully at some point we’ll be able to discuss those things as well. But anyway, I want to thank you for sticking in today. I hope something I said was useful, and we will get back in our next episode onto our regular topic of section 132. So thank you for being here and, um, for, for, you know, bearing my burdens and mourning with me. And allowing me to share these things that have been important in my life. So anyway, thank you so much and I will see you next time.